


What are you reading, and why am I in it?

by Youtube_Trash



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Side minicat possibly, Slow Build, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but only in certain chapters, explicit cause of dirty jokes and lots of swearing, i love these two, maybe other pairings later, maybe smut later on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-03 10:57:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8709772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youtube_Trash/pseuds/Youtube_Trash
Summary: Everyone has their guilty pleasures, and everyone has their secrets.And every story is similar in some ways. But if we go against the norm, who knows what'll come from it?Good thingsBad thingsProbably bothBut we hope for the good, at least by the end of it all





	1. Guilty Pleasures

"Hey man, what's up?"

"N-nothing at all." Evan panted into his cell phone.

A laugh came from the phone. "What are you doing to make you pant like that?" The voice turned teasing.

"Oh, shut up Del. You know I'm just at the gym." Evan stepped off the treadmill and went to get a drink of water. " So, to what do I owe this phone call?"

Delirious laughed again. "Well, we haven't talked in a while, and I certainly haven't been online in a about a month, so I figured I should assure you and the guys that I'm not dead or something. So you could just say I'm checking in on you guys."

"Okay. Anything else?" Evan sighed and wiped sweat off his forehead. 

"You wanna hear why I've been gone or not?"

"Well, you're obviously not dead, so, that's about all I needed to hear. And I'd like to go back to my work out." He could practically feel Delirious' eye roll through his phone.

"All you ever do is edit and work out. Fine, go back to it.  As if you weren't fucking buff enough." 

"Someone's jealous."

"SHUSH UP!"

There was a pause until they both burst out laughing. "Seriously, I gotta go though. My muscles are getting tired. It was good to hear from you again. Do you know when you'll be online again then?"

"Well, you apparently don't care about why I've been on hiatus, but it depends on when it dies down."

"When what dies down?"

"Go back to your workout you shit." Del laughed and hung up.

Evan laughed and tossed his phone down with his towel and water after sending a quick text about Delirious to the rest of the guys. He jogged back to the treadmill and continued his workout, just trying to blow off steam.

______________

"Hey, Evan?"

"What?" Evan asked, lounging on the couch going through Twitter. 

"The fuck is this?"

"What?"

" ' And as the oven timer rang throughout the house, they kissed without a care in the world. They didn't mind the flour, sugar, and egg in each other's hair, and just enjoyed the taste and feel of each other.' "

Evan dropped his phone and lunged for the laptop Tyler was holding. "T-THAT'S NOTHING!" He laughed nervously, quickly shutting his laptop and internally cursing himself.

Tyler smirked. "Nothing, my ass. Mind explaining?"

"Yes. I do." Evan stared at his feet not making eye contact with Tyler.

Tyler chuckled. "Someone has a guilty pleasure~." He teased. 

_oh, fuck._

_______________

Evan got off the treadmill, cringing at the memory of that night. Why hadn't he fucking closed out of the browser??

Tyler was super accepting about it, but Evan wasn't as much.

But he couldn't stop reading fan fiction between him and his friend.

It wasn't like he had legitimate feelings for Delirious. He just liked reading cute stories about Del falling for him.

_That's not weird, right?_

Evan thought back to his phone call with the man himself and sighed.

_Nope. Definitely weird._

_And creepy._


	2. Back to everyday life

Evan marched outside of the gym, frustrated. There was a light snow falling from the sky that stung his cheeks every step he took. He exhaled happily. The cool air felt good after the workout. It was a good workout, he could tell by the familiar ache of his muscles. Evan sighed and started walking to his car. It had been a good workout and yet, he was as anxious and stressed as ever. 

He threw his gym bag into the backseat of the car and slammed the door shut harder than his poor car deserved. He had an urge to apologize. He climbed into the driver's seat and groaned. Tyler had found out about his guilty pleasure a little over a week ago, when they were hanging out after PAX. And ever since then, Evan has been anxious and embarrassed 24/7. Tyler was oddly cool about it, saying that he "understood.". Whatever the fuck that meant. 

Evan could feel the heat rushing to his face.  _God dammit._ He put his forehead on the steering wheel and groaned again. "Why am I so reckless??" He almost yelled to himself.

Evan sat up and huffed determinedly. He's gonna go home, edit, try to join a session with the boys, and for the first time in a while, NOT indulge in his guilty pleasure. He turned his keys until his engine sputtered to life, drove out of the parking lot, and proceeded to make his way through town to his house. 

It was dark once he reached home, and it had started to snow a bit more heavily. Once Evan pulled into his driveway and turned off the car, he just sat in it and watched the snow fall in the moonlight. 

"How pretty..."

He's seen snow before, obviously, but it's always appealed to him. Even when he was really young, he'd always sit and watch it. The snowflakes fall with such ease and grace, like there isn't a care in the world. It was ridiculously relaxing.

Evan still sat and watched the snow fall and settle on his car, letting his thoughts meddle together. Until a question popped into his head.

_Why do I care so much? I have great friends, it's not like they'd shun me over something like this, and besides, I could play it off as a joke? Is it because it involves one of them? No, that's not it. It's not like I actually think that way about Jonathan. So again, why do I care so much?_

He pondered this for a while until he noticed he was shivering from the chill slowly seeping into the car. 

Evan figured that he shouldn't freak out so much about it. He was being ridiculous. They're his friends! It's not like they care. He'll just be a bit more careful about it.

It did make him feel better. He sighed. He wanted to watch the snow more, it was so entrancing. 

He reluctantly got out of his car, grabbed his bag, and stepped into the bitter cold. He walked into his house and was greeted with the warm air and lighting. It wasn't anything luxurious but home was home. He walked in and carelessly threw his bag on the couch. He went to his laptop on the kitchen counter to check a video he was rendering. Four more hours. Evan groaned, as he loved technology but holy hell, it's slow sometimes. He checked the time. 8:45. Damn, had he really been thinking that long? He went to shower and then checked his phone to see if the boys were in a session. He grinned after looking through the texts and went to his PC to join the call.

_____________

"FUCK YOU EVAN!" Marcel yelled, while hitting his desk, causing laughter to ring throughout the call.

"EeevvAAANNN! YOU FUCKER!" Nogla's voice rang through, rising to a yell. "STOP KILLING ME!"

Evan laughed and planted a claymore where Nogla would spawn back into the game. This was met by more screams from Nogla and wheezes from Evan, Tyler, Marcel, Brock, Bryce, and Anthony.

They were trying to do an intro for the next video for a gmod scary map, but, obviously things had escalated quickly.

"Holy shit..." Evan gasped, his diaphragm hurting from laughing so hard.

"Can we do the FUCKING intro now?!" Nogla basically yelled.

More laughter rang through the chat.

"Oh, hey, by the way Evan. Did Del tell you when he'd be back to play with us?" Tyler asked.

 _Tyler, you big pig bitch._ "No, I was in the middle of stuff when he called so it was short. We didn't talk long. I think he said he'd be back soon. He did apologize though."

"Try to find out though. We need to start the tradition."

"Oh yeah! It never works though." Brock said, chuckling.

"The tradition?" Bryce asked, as he had not heard of it before.

Nogla chimed in. "Every year, we try to convince Delirious to go to the next convention of the year. And now that the latest PAX is done, we need to start on the next one."

"He never agrees though." Evan said.

"Typical Delirious." Bryce chuckled.

"But try to find out when you have the time Evan, cause then we can start annoying the fuck out of our faceless friend." Tyler nagged.

"I get it, I get it. I'll try. Now let's do this damn map." 

Laughter followed, mostly in anticipation of the jpeg jump scares.

Evan tried to shake the emabarresment from recent events out of his mind, and focused on the scary map.

Just getting back to the normal swing of things.

With a little indulgence thrown in from time to time.

It's not like Delirious knew what he was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this yesterday,  
> But I had typed it up and didn't like how it came out so I rewrote it today. -__- 
> 
> I'm thinking next chapter might be in Del's perspective  
> I dunno  
> Maybe 
> 
> Feel free to point out any grammar or spelling mistakes since I'm the only one proofreading this. :P
> 
> Also I live in Arizona, so I have basically an unhealthy obsession with snow, so I made Evan a little obsessed with it too. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


	3. Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Del is tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this would be from del's perspective but it doesn't fit with my plans for the plots, so we're stuck with Evan. ;)

"Hey Del, it's Evan. Again. I know I'm being persistent but you know why I'm calling. It's that time of year again, but the rest of the guys are wondering why you haven't been around for a while. I told them what you told me, but I know I was probably a little rude last time we talked, I had a lot on my mind and- shit I'm rambling again. Just call me back when you can please."

________

"Jonathan. It's been another week, and you haven't returned any of my calls or anything. You said you'd be back to playing with us soon. Tell us what's up and call me back. Seriously."

________

"CALL ME. Or text. Something. C'mon Delirious. We're getting worried. I'm getting worried."

Evan sighed after hanging up and tossed the phone beside him on the couch. It had been about a month since he last talked to Del at that gym. 

"Tch." He clicked his tongue.  _Selfish bastard._

He got up off his couch and ran his hand threw his unkempt hair. He had let it grow a bit longer in the front, where his bangs would cover parts of his forehead and brown eyes. He had been so irritable lately, even Nogla had noticed, and sometimes he's as dense as a brick. A loveable brick, but a brick nonetheless. He walked over to his counter and plugged his phone into the speaker to blast some of his favorite songs and remixes. He pulled out different bowls and set his oven to preheat. 

He was gonna make a goddamn pie.

One of the only ways to cheer him up anymore. When he was young, his grandfather would always bake pies. The reverse of the expected, but his pies were the best. Evan would always have to stand on his tip-toes to see what his granddad was doing to make the crust or filling or whatever variation of pie he was making. He died before Evan could see above the counter, but Evan kept the love of baking. Especially pies.

He got to work making a chocolate pie while singing alone and dancing to the music. He put his own spin on this pie though. There's nothing wrong with the classics, but ever since he started not despising his guilty pleasure, he's had a feeling of rebellion. So today was time for some experimentation with his pie. 

Evan grinned. This was the best part. He should make a pie just for his friends one day.

_________

"Jesus Vanoss. The one time I call you back after you've left me thirty messages in the past month, you don't pick up the fucking phone. Typical." Del laughed. "Murphy's Law I guess. Well, hi. I know it's been a long time, but some things took a bit longer to work out than I thought it was. It worked out in the end, and I'm really happy. I have a few more things to clear up then I should be able to sit down with you guys and explain things as well as have a damn good time playing games. And I know it's about time for you all to start nagging me. You know what my answer is gonna be, as I am the most stubborn person I know." Another chuckle. "Maybe besides you with your thirty messages. Anyways, gimme a call when you can, if I'm not in court or anything like usual, I'll call you back. Gimme a holler! Bye!"

_Court? The fuck?_

Evan cursed himself for baking pies while Del had called. If he had known that today of all days would be when he called back, he would have sit and waited for his phone to ring.

Evan quickly dialed his friend's number. Then waited whilst that stupid calling sound played.

"Hello?"

"Del."

"Vanoss! What's up?"

"What's this about court?"

There was a pause. Evan could almost feel how tense Del got through the phone. "Did I say something about it?"

"Yeah, on your message. You said you'd pick up if you weren't in court like usual."

Delirious inhaled sharply. "God, I need a filter for my mouth. Sorry about that. I bet you thought I'm getting arrested or some shit."

Evan paused."Well, yeah. You know we don't know what you do outside of YouTube. Of course we're going to consider the worst."

"Don't worry about it, there's no need to. I didn't get arrested or anything. Just been trying to take far of some...personal things. It's taking longer than it should cause she's being a bitch about it and demanding-"

"She?" Evan cut him off.

Another long pause. "You didn't hear that."

"Except I did. Who's she?"

"No one. You didn't hear anything. Please, it'll all be explained once I'm out of this mess. Seriously, I need a serious filter for my mouth." He groaned."I need to stop saying the first things that pop into my head.

Evan leaned against his kitchen counter where the pies were cooling and inhaled. It smelled warm and cozy. He wondered if Del felt warm and cozy where he was right now. He looked at his chocolate pie with blueberries in it. He wanted to give some to Delirious. "Fine. I'll forget about it for now. Only because I'm your best buddy."

A sigh of relief issued from Evan's cell. "Thank god. Thanks Evan. You know how I respect my privacy. So, what have you been doing when not leaving me messages?"

"Baking."

"What have you been baking?"

"Pies."

"What kind of pies?" Every time Del asked one of these questions, his voice got more song-like.

"Yummy pies."

Del chuckled."What's with that response? I believe you. I bet they're yummy."

"Hopefully." Evan just sat there waiting for Del to say something but another male voice came through the phone. Evan didn't know what it was saying, but Del did.

"Hey Evan, I know we just talked for like the first time in months, but I gotta go. Little bit of an emergency. Super sorry. I'll call you when I can!"

"Wait De-"

But that was it. Del had hung up.

Evan was pissed. Again, Del had done that. What was he oh-so-busy with anyways? He slammed his phone down amd watched the pie cool, the ooey gooey blueberry mush seeping and bubbling from the top. He pouted. It's like he was expecting Del to be here, eating this pie, telling him how it was delicious and how Evan should try some. Evan would decline, but Jonathan would insist until saying Evan forced him to do it, and he would yank Evan to him, and he'd lock their lips together. Jonathan would force entry into Evan's mouth, not that Evan would mind, and make Evan taste his pie. It would be delicious.

Evan glared at his pie. Not the first time he's had thoughts like that. He blames his fans. They've tainted his mind. But it didn't stop the blush from rising to his cheeks, or the prick of shame that struck his heart when he realized that he was hard. He put his head on the cool granite counter. 

_I'm so fucked._

_________

"Jonathan."

"What do you want?" He snapped at the voice.

"He's back in the hospital."

Jonathan's heart sunk. "What?"

"He passed out again. I fed him enough and everything this time. I don't-I don't know why. Jonathan..." The voice broke and Jonathan could hear the tears forming.

"Same hospital?"

"MmHm."

Worry pricked Jonathan with every step he took. He straightened his suit and walked towards his car. "If he falls because of your negligence again, I will file it with the court. I'll be there as fast as I can"

The voice didn't say anything, and Del hung up. He practically floored the gas, trying to get to the hospital as fast as he could. 


	4. Amber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are revealed

Jonathan hopped out of his car and practically ran into the hospital. He burst through the doors and looked for the reception desk. Once he spotted it, he started to jog towards it when he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Jon. It's okay, I'll take you there."

Jonathan turned around to face the girl he was talking to before, tears streaming down her face. He glared at her and smacked her hand off.

"Lead the way." He waited impatiently for her to stop giving him  _that look_. She sniffed, tears spilling down her cheeks again, and started to walk Jonathan through the winding hallways of the hospital.

After a few minutes of walking in complete silence only interrupted by the woman's sniffling, she stopped in front of a door. "In here."

Jonathan pushed her aside and ran through the door. 

He breathed a sigh of relief and crouched down to his knees. No tubes this time. No g-tube or special drugs. He rose again, almost crying.

The figure in the bed perked up. "Daddy!! You came!"

"Hey, little man. Of course I did. Why would you think I wouldn't?" Jonathan walked over to the side of the bad and sat down.

"Mommy said daddy wouldn't come. So I didn't think you would."

Jonatham sighed and took a second to glare at the woman standing by the door. He looked back to the boy in the hospital bed and smiled. "I'm sorry. Were you worried I wouldn't come?"

The boy looked at the pale sheets on his lap and nodded.

"I'm sorry little man. I did though.  I'm here now." Jonathan grabbed the little hand and squeezed it. "But I picked you up something on the way! You wanna see it?"

The boys face lit up and he nodded frantically. Jonathan laughed. "You get the first half today, and the second half on your birthday."

"But that's a month away!!!"

"It'll be good for you!" Jonathan held out a bag. "Go ahead and go through it."

The boy did and pulled out a t-shirt, a hat, and a few books. He started laughing and hugging Jonathan."How did you get these?"

Jonathan grinned. "I pulled some strings." He bought them ages ago. The VanossGaming limited edition hat and the Daithi De Nogla t-shirt. Both had sold out about a month ago. But Jonathan had connections. The boy hugged him. "You're sooo cool! I can't believe you're friends with them!"

"It is pretty cool." Jonathan smiled. "Hey I need to talk to your mom alone, so can you read your books? I'll be back soon, I promise. Okay?"

"Okay."

 Jonathan stood up and ruffled the boys hair before walking over to the girl. "Amber, may I speak to you outside?"

She sighed and stepped out into the hallway, waiting for Jonathan. He shut the door and turned to face her. He opened his mouth to speak but the woman, Amber, cut him off.

"You should tell him to stop calling you dad." 

Jonathan swelled with anger. "You should stop telling him his dad isn't gonna come back when he thinks I'm his dad."

"My point exactly! You're not his dad, so why should he think so?"

"Because you slept with another man and had _his_  baby while we were married!Because you continued to have an affair with him until I realized the kid wasn't mine! Then you left the kid with me the day he was born and ran off with the pig you slept with! Then you come crawling back begging to see your kid that you abounded from birth, and even though I could smell the booze on you and see the effects the drugs have been taking on your appearence, I said fine. Now here, two years later, you want to take him from me! And he's getting sick again. BECAUSE OF YOU. HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?" He was yelling at her, on a roll now. "HE IS SICK AGAIN, AND WHO DO YOU THINK IS AT FAULT? WHO DIDN'T FEED HIM ENOUGH FOOD LAST TIME BECAUSE THEY HAD SPENT ALL THEIR MONEY ON HEROINE? WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?"

"Jonathan, you need to calm down. He'll hear you."

"CALM DOWN MY ASS! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH NEV. YOU DIDN'T EVEN NAME HIM, SO WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TAKE HIM FRO-"

He was interrupted by a slap to the face. "Don't say another fucking word." Amber yanked Jonathan closer to her. "I am Nev's birthmother. I have every right to take him. Now shut up." She dropped her voice even lower. "I bet Nev heard all of that. All of the yelling and anger from his  _Daddy_ directed toward his dearest mommy. What do you think he'll make of that?"

Jonathan's heart sunk. 

"We loved each other once. So do me a favor, and shut the fuck up." She let go of Jonathan and leaned against the door. The tear stains were long gone from her face. "The doctor said it might be malnutrition again, but they want to take a biopsy and MRI. Plus another CAT scan just in case."

"And who's gonna pay for all that? You gonna help?"

Fear and guilt crossed over Amber's face. "No, ummm, I don't have that kind of-"

"That's what I thought."  _Thank god I have YouTube and my other office job. Otherwise I couldn't pay for this._

Jonathan pushed through her into the room again, to go greet Nev, who was already wearing the hat.

"Dad."

"Yes Nev?"

"Why were Mom and you fighting?"

"No reason honey. Go to sleep. See if you can be better by your birthday so you can fully enjoy your surprise." He grinned and hummed to Nev, lulling him to sleep.

Amber watched from the doorway disapprovingly. She hates to admit it, but Jonathan was real damn nurturing.

___________

"Hey, Evan."

"What's up Tyler?"

"Do you think you'd ever consider coming down to good 'ol America and hang out with us all? Especially since Mini just moved here. We could try to get a bunch of us together. It'll be great!"

Evan looked at his ceiling, laptop sitting on his lap, open on a story of early mornings and coffee. "I dunno Tyler... It's expensive and we're all gonna see each other at the next convention anyways..."

"You damned introvert. Really? You don't want to?"

Evan groaned. "It's not that I don't want to see you guys, it's just that-"

"You're an introvert. Jeez Evan. You're so funny. So loud and great during games but so shy and quiet in real life. Fine. I know what to do. I'll have to talk to the others."

"Tyler, what are you planning?"

"You can't figure it out? Really? I thought I made that fucking obvious. Well if you can figure it out, then it won't be a surprise. If you can't, then it will. I'm betting on the latter, you dense fuck."

"Tyler, what even?"

"You need to get out of your comfort zone. You need to get out of your fantasy land. Especially the one your fans sucked you into. I do too. So, we're gonna meet up no matter how or when. Just get us out of our usual yearly routine."

_Wait a minute. He said he understood before and now he says him too? No. Fucking. Way._

"Tyler. Did your fans suck you in too?" A grin played on Evan's lips.

A huge pause. "Well, it's late here, I'm gonna go-"

"OH MY GOD THEY TOTALLY DID!" Evan burst out laughing, doubling over and wheezing. "That's so funny dude, holy shit. I can't believe it."

"Okay maybe you're not as dense as I thought..." Tyler mumbled.

"That's so awesome man! Do you read ones with you paired with someone??"

"Shut up! I don't wanna talk about it."

Evan was still laughing.

"Kay, well, that's all I was gonna say, plus some. So, I'm gonna go."

"C'mon Tyler! Tell me."

"Shut the fuck up bitch." A chuckle did issue from Tyler's mouth though. He hung up.

Evan let the call end and burst out laughing. It was just too funny. And such a coincidence.

It made him think about whether any of the other guys read the stories. He knows Mini and Brock have in an ask mini, but that was a joke. 

_What if Delirious read the stories? What if he was in the same boat as me?_

_That's stupid Evan. Shut up brain. You're getting carried away. AGAIN._

 

He still chuckled, full of hope and maybe even a little joy. And for the first time in months, not out of embarrassment.

_________________

"Excuse me?"

"It seems that Nev has a birth defect within his stomach enzymes, the ones that break down carbohydrates and glucose and turn them into energy. They aren't functioning properly. This is causing the fainting spells, abdominal pain, and the malnutrition. He just doesn't have enough energy. It isn't extremely rare but it is uncommon."

Jonathan looked at the doctor. "How is that even possible. He's five now. How could you guys not spot that by now?!" He put his head in his hands, eyes watering.

"Sir, can I speak to the mother please?"

"She's out at the moment." Jonathan mumbled into his hands. "Just tell me."

The doctor sighed. "This kind of defect is caused by the use of foreign substances during at least two terms of the pregnancy."

Jonathan froze. "Don't tell me..."

"This usually means the mother was doing drugs during most of the pregnancy."

Jonathan rose to make eye contact with the doctor. "I'm gonna kill her." He mumbled.

The doctor sighed and sent over a psychology assistant to talk to Jonathan about everything having to do with Amber, Nev, the divorce, the affair, and the fight for custody. He gave an apology and walked away to go deal with another family.

Jonathan rambled things off to the psych worker. True things, but things that would wrap that up quickly. No, he wasn't planning to actually kill the mother. No, he wasn't struck with grief. No, he didn't need a hug. 

The worker rose and said everything seemed fine.

But Jonathan said one thing that worried the psych worker.

"Do me a favor. Don't let her near him. Even if he begs for it."

"Sir. I don't have the authority to do that."

"I don't care. Tell someone who does." Blue eyes pierced into brown ones. "Because her being near Nev puts him in danger. And I love him too much to do that to him."

The psych worker just nodded and walked off.

Jonathan walked back into Nev's hospital room. "Hey buddy. You hungry?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of setting things up for future chapters.  
> I have no idea if that's actually a birth defect or not. :P
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Does this mean-?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are happening!!!!!

"Jonathan..."

"No! This is enough! This is evidence! We can win." He hit the table after saying win.

His lawyer, a lean woman, looked at him, silently asking him to be patient. "This isn't exact evidence. The doctor said might. We have no positive drug tests, whether it be blood or urine."

"BECAUSE SHE GETS ILLEGAL BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS AND OTHER URINE! SHE'S A LEECH!" Tears started to form in his eyes. "Look what she did to her own son." He slouched in his chair. 

"Jonathan. I know that. This is good evidence, but the fact that the doctor said might says that her lawyer could use it against us. Give it time Jonathan. We'll win this case."

She stood up and respectfully said she had another place to go, and she left. Jonathan followed her and stopped in front of the door that she just closed. "I pay her to say that, don't I?" He sighed and walked over to a mirror on a wall.

 _God, I look like shit._  Jonathan attempted to straighten his coat. No tie today. He hates wearing suits.

People constantly ask him why he hasn't done a face reveal. He gets nice messages about it and some not so nice. It's not like he didn't show his face because he hated it. It wasn't like that all. He just like his privacy. 

Its not like he was unattractive. He was comfortable with himself. His striking blue eyes were his best feature. He had always been proud of them, and people say that they intimidate people. He sighed. That's bull. It never works. He had close-cropped bleached hair. But his roots were starting to grow in, and it was getting shaggy. Jonathan tried to fix it to no avail. 

_Maybe I should grow it out... Cover up my ears. Will that help with the trial?_

His hair was short enough that people could see the holes from his ear piercings. He loved to wear them, but they weren't helping him with the trial for custody. They probably thought he was a delinquent compared to how Amber shows up on trial, with her transfused blood and expensive clothing. 

Jonathan groaned and sat on the floor in front of the mirror. He sat and just looked at himself. And looked at what toll these weeks have took on him. 

They started the custody trial process about two months ago. Ever since then, it's been late nights and early mornings. He's had to go to meetings with his lawyer, attend all the things that preceed the trial, as well as put out a YouTube video from time to time and attend his day job. His eyes were surrounded by dark bags, and there was no life in them. His face looked sunken and sad.

_Is this what Nev sees when I take care of him? Is this what the court sees?_

No wonder he's losing. It was a small thought but enough to crush him completely. Angry tears started to fall from his eyes and before he knew it he was full on sobbing. He was still in his lawyer's office, so he was trying to keep it down, but all these emotions he'd been bottling in were rushing out all at once, like a dam breaking. 

He gave up and let his voice out. He wanted to break things. He wanted to yell and scream. Nothing was okay, and nothing was going to be okay. He's going to lose his love in life, he's been lying to his friends for months now, and he is just trying to get by. Jonathan didn't even know if it was worth it anymore. 

He screamed and cried for what seemed like hours, enveloped in thoughts of losing Nev and his friends. It was terrifying, and it just made him fall apart inside, piece by piece. Which didn't help with his crying.

After a few deep breaths, he looked back at the mirror, and looked at the mess he had become. His face was bright red, and snot and tears covered his face.

_I need a wake up call..._

Still sitting on the floor, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed the first number that popped up.

"Hey Luke." His voice was hoarse from screaming so much.

Jonathan heard a sigh in response. "It's about bloody time, Jon. Jesus. Where are you? I'll take you to Italian food while we talk."

______________

 "Dude, this is gonna be sooooo great!" Mini said, practically bouncing in his seat, Starbucks cup in his hand.

"Don't I know it. I mean, I set it up." Tyler said smugly, leaning back in his airplane seat.

A loud snort was heard behind him, and Tyler turned around to glare at Brock, Brian, and Daithi.

"Which one of you snorted?" 

Brian proudly raised his hand. "You didn't set up shit. You just called Evan and pitched the idea. The rest of us did all the planning. Hell, Daithi and I both flew from Ireland."

"But I started the plan, so technically it was me." He grinned playfully at everyone until everyone burst out laughing.

"Not how that works, pig." Brock said chuckling. "I also had to plan my flight and everything with no help from Mr.Planner here."

"Well Mr. Planner thinks you're being disrespectful to your superior and that you need to stop being mean to Mr. Planner."

"You guys are so weird." Lui said from his window seat, beside Craig. Tyler was on an aisle seat mostly because of his enormous height.

More laughter ensued until stopped by the pilot announcing that they're about to take off.

Everyone grinned. If Evan was as dead as Tyler said, then he's in for the surprise of a life time.

______________

"HE'S NOT HERE?!" Mini yelled.

Half of the boys were laughing and the other half were letting out long strings of creative curses.

"That's just so-Evan!" Daithi said through laughing and clutching his stomach.

"I can't believe this." Brock said, also giggling. 

"Fucking Evan, I swear to god." Tyler pulled out his phone and called Evan.

"Hello?"

"Vanoss! Hey. So I was just wondering, whatcha doing?"

"Hey Tyler. Oh I was just grabbing dinner at a nice Italian restraunt. I love me some pasta. Why?"

"Cause you should really get home."

"I was already on my way. Actually I'm almost there. Why?"

Tyler huffed, looking at the rest of the boys all huddled in front of Evan's house in the cold, some still laughing. He hung up.

He could practically feel Evan's confusion from here. Kind of a dick move, but definitely worth it in the end. 

A few minutes later, a care came to Evan's driveway and came to a screeching halt. They saw the car door open and were then greeted by a beaming Asian. 

"No fucking way." Evan said.

"Surprise!" They attempted to say at the same time, but failed horribly, causing them to laugh.

Evam jogged over and gave everyone a bone crushing hug. "What are you guys doing here?!"

"You're a introvert. And it's unhealthy. So we're here to throw some spice in your life!" Craig said.

"That was so cliché it hurt, Craig." Brian said.

"Shut up! Clichés are there for a reason!"

Evan smiled, already enjoying his friends' company.

"Come in, you guys must be freezing and tired." He walked to his door and unlocked it.

____________

"You should've known this was coming."

"I did."

"Then why did you call me?"

Jonathan stared at his pasta.

"Stop making such a constipated face. Jon, you need to know that I'm not angry. But this isn't my part to play. You need to figure this stuff out yourself."

Jonathan sighed. "I know."

"So..." Luke said, prompting him to continue.

"I'll figure it out."

"Will you? Really?"

Jonathan stabbed his food. "Yes."

Luke chuckled. "It's like watching a pouting child eat Italian food."

"SHUT UP." 

Laughter followed.

"So Jon. Are you excited for next month? It'll be great. Nev'all have a great time, especially when you guys hang out with-"

"They won't know I'm there. I don't plan on telling them."

Luke frowned. "You mind telling me why?"

Jonathan looked up at Luke. "It's a distraction."

"Your best friends are distractions?"

"From Nev, yes. Not to mention the psycho fans that are distractions too."

"Psycho fans like I'm-gonna-wear-your-skin-as-a-suit fans or shipping fans?"

Jonathan scoffed. "Both fall under that category."

"True."

"It's not that I don't wanna tell my friends that I'm going, but I want to give my hopefully soon-to-be son the best birthday ever. I don't want the pressure of being a Youtuber or deal with the H20 Vanoss, Delitoonz, or even Ohmlirious fans. I just want to be a good dad to my son. Who's sick now, might I add. And it ain't no common cold. A freakin' birth defect. From you-know-who doing drugs during pregnancy. I just want to give Nev a pure experience of being a fan at a convention. With a little extra, if you'll help me while you're there."

Luke smiled. "What a lovely speech. I get it though. It makes sense. Of course I'll help when I'm there. I'll try to get you a room at the Tubers Hotel."

Jonathan burst out laughing. "Tuber Hotel? Is that some stupid slang for the best western you all stay at?"

Luke joined in and this continued for a while.

"So, are you feeling better?"

Jonathan looked up at the roof of the resteraunt and sighed. "Do I look as shitty as the mirror shows? Be honest."

Luke paused for a while. "Yes."

Jonathan sighed. "I knew it. It's incredibly discouraging."

Luke frowned in sympathy. "Isn't it worth it if you win?"

"You know that there are studies about how people's view of you influences their choices? They say that if you look good, they'll be nicer, that kind of shit. That's why we dress up nice when going to job interviews and stuff. So if I look like shit, like I do, then they will have another reason to give Nev to Amber. I can't..." Jonathan started to choke up.

"Jon, no crying. Go get a haircut, get rid of your aftershave and buy a new suit." Luke sighed and slid a business card to Jonathan. "This is where I got my suit tailored for that wedding last year. It's a little pricy, but it'll make you look good, I promise. And if that gives you a little comfort in court, although it's ridiculous, then go get it done. Drama queen."

Jonathan grabbed the card and read the fancy font. "Thank you." He mumbled quietly.

Luke winked. "What else are friends for? Besides, I want to see you with Nev. And I want you happy and with Nev, especially at the convention, so we can get together and give Nev the best eighth birthday ever."

Jonathan smiled. "I'd like that. Thank you, really. Here." Jonathan pulled out his wallet. "I'll  pay."

"Hey, I ain't gonna argue with that. Free food is always great."

Once their lunch was paid for, they walked out and hugged. 

"You're right." Jonathan said. "I'm going to go get cleaned up."

Luke grinned. "You're gonna win this. I know it. We'll give Nev the best day of his life."

Jonathan felt tears in his eyes. He didn't deserve a friend as good as Luke. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. Go get cleaned up."

Jonathan got in his little car and drive out of the parking lot, already heading to the barber's. He'll ask for a rebleach and a cut. Maybe ask them to gel it up nice and show him how to do it too. He'll wear a nice blue earring the next time he's in court. He nodded determinedly and off he went.

_____________________

"This is so great!" Evan said, drink in hand, and carrying food out to the other guys.

"Wow! I wasn't expecting your homemade cooking of PIZZA HUT." Tyler said loudly.

"Shut the fuck up man. I don't need to cook shit for you. You guys said you didn't plan for a hotel, so now I have to find room for all of you in this house. So no homemade  _dinner_ for you guys."

"Did Evan just say dinner weird?" Daithi asked Lui.

"HE'S HIDING SOMETHING." Luis gasped dramatically. 

Tyler and Evan made eye contact before both burst out laughing. How can their friends be so right and yet so wrong at the same time?

"I made a pie that we can all split later." Evan said after catching his breath.

"What was that about?" Mini asked Tyler.

"Nothing. Inside joke."

"Weirdos." Brock said from behind Mini, causing him to jump.

"Don't listen in on other's conversations!"

Brock just laughed. "That's stupid. Have you met any of our friends? That's all we do."

More laughter followed after that, as everyone dove into their pizza.

"This is so great." Evan grinned. "I can't believe you guys flew all the way here just to hang out. Even though we'll see each other again next month anyways."

Everyone nodded, mouths full of food.  

      _____________________

While Evan and the boys were all enjoying pizza, in a different country Jonathan was racing to the courtroom, hair freshly cut, but no suit and no breath.

Jonathan practically fell out of his car and burst into the courthouse. He ran to the desk. "Jonathan Smith, Courtroom 3."

The lady nodded, talking on the phone.

He ran to the elevator and punched the button repeatedly. Once he heard that ping that it was there, he pushed his way inside, panting. He mumbled an apology to those he ran into. He punched the third floor button. 

"You know that doesn't get you there faster right?" Some random lady said.

"Shut up. This is important."

The lady glared at him and turned her head to the side. 

Once the elevator reached his floor he pushed his way through and ran to the courtroom. He ran to his lawyer and sat next to her at the table. Amber was at the other one with her lawyer, fidgeting.

A grin played on Jon's face. "So how did you do it?"

His lawyer grinned. "I used the doctors note. It wasn't evidence but it was enough to demand a surprise drug test. Jonathan."

"Does this mean-?"

"We got her Jonathan. We got her."

Tears formed in Jonathan's eyes and spilled onto his cheeks.

The judge rambled the usual crap until he said: "Will Amber Parkinson please take the stand?"

She walked up awkwardly to the stand.

Jonathan took a deep breath, tears still spilling onto his cheeks, but he felt a grin form on his face. He looked at his lap so he looked professional, but silently whispered a thank you to his lawyer. 

This means he'll get Nev. And then he can take him to meet his best friends.

Jonathan looked up, unashamed to show the fact that he was crying, and ready to fight for his son.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about being less frequent. Finals and all. Ugh. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	6. Wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nurturing Jonathan and a loud Evan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well damn. A lot of people are actually reading this. It blows my mind how awesome it is to know people are reading and enjoying this story. It's really really cool. So thanks for taking time out of your guys' days to read this!  
> It makes my day to know some people are enjoying it. 
> 
> And I dunno how this chapter is gonna go, might be good, might be bad. We'll get to the good stuff eventually I promise. ;)
> 
> It came out kinda short. Sorry. -_-  
> I didn't write more for this one, because I like how it ended. ;) Yay to cliffhangers!

Jonathan hopped out of his car after pulling up to his driveway and yanked open the passenger door. Nev looked at him and got out.

"Thank you." He looked very frail for having just got out of the hospital, but his smile still seemed to glow.

"You're very welcome, big man." He said. Jonathan put a hand on Nev's shoulder and led him inside. 

Nev wasn't exactly tiny. Turning eight next month, but not tiny. He looked very sickly as Jonathan led him in. But like most children, there was still life and hope in his eyes. And that was infectious. Nev had beautiful green eyes and pitch black hair, both inherited by his bastard of a biological father. But on Nev, instead of reminding Jonathan of that man, it reminded him of all the love he had experienced and all the hope he had. It was super sappy, but god, did Jonathan love this child more than anything in the world. Once in Nev's room Jonathan had set aside, he knelt down and hugged Nev tightly.

"Hey, daddy." Nev said."You're squeezing too tight."

Jonathan didn't loosen his grip. "Just another second honey. Daddy is very happy you're here."

Nev sighed. "Dad, I'm hungry."

Jonathan let go, and sniffed. He forced himself not to cry. "Okay buddy. I gotta make a phone call, and then I'll make some lasagna, okay? That sound good?"

Nev nodded.

"Just enjoy yourself for a little while, okay?"

Jonathan waited for another nod before leaving the room and pulling out his cell.

He tapped a contact to call and waited.

"Hey Luke. I got your messages. Sorry I couldn't answer, I was picking up Nev and talking to the doctor."

"No problem Jon. But I'll say it one more time, cause we're actually talking. Congratulations on getting custody. You deserve it. Even though you had that breakdown."

Jonathan grinned. "Thank you Luke. Thank you. I'm very excited to take care of him and to make sure he knows how much he's loved."

"You sappy bastard."

Jonathan chuckled. "You know me. The most sappy crybaby out there."

They both laughed at this for a while. Then neither said anything, happy to just bask in the glory of their victory. Jonathan felt like he was walking on air, and Luke could feel how happy Jonathan was. And that made him happy too.

"So, Jon. Are you ever thinking about getting a mom for Nev?"

Jonathan's face hardened. "Not in the mood to do that. I just got the kid from my last relationship, which need I mind you, ended in a divorce. Thank the heavens it did, but still. Not really my number one priority right now."

"Sorry, jeez. I just thought that maybe you'd like help, and that maybe you were a bit lonely."

"Look. I just can't deal with all that shit right now. I have to take care of Nev and even if I am lonely, which I'm not, I don't want to be in another relationship. My last one practically destroyed me, I don't see the point in having a new one, especially now that I have Nev."

Luke sighed. "I get it, I get it. I'm sorry I brought it up."

Jonathan leaned against his counter. "I'm sorry too. It's a sensitive subject, you know."

"Yeah. My bad dude."

"Well, I only called to tell you I got Nev and hear your congratulations, but Nev's hungry, so I gotta make him some food. So, I'll be saying bye for now."

"Later, Jon."

"Bye." Jonathan hung up the phone, and slipped it back into his jeans pocket. He was currently wearing a blue hoodie, funnily enough. He chuckled at the silly thought of him looking like his GTA character before getting started on the lasagna.

Once the lasagna was heating up in the oven, Jonathan leaned against his cool black counter again. And again, he pulled out his cell phone. _Should I call Evan and tell him I can play later? Should I play later? Should I just watch Nev instead? I mean, I have an obligation to my friends. They all probably think I'm dead by now, honestly._ He snorted at the thought. _I might as well call him, and tell him I'm out of court now, and can actually start playing again._

He tapped Evan's number and the photo he had showed up on the screen as it called. It was quite the hilarious photo that Evan had sent him when he first got his owl mask.  The first one Evan had gotten was too small for his big head, so the photo is of Evan laughing with the owl mask covering half his forehead, and it just looks so cute and funny. Jonathan put Evan on speaker in case he needed to check the lasagna. He patiently waited for Evan to pick up. Nev walked in eventually though. Jonathan quickly ended the call, especially because Evan doesn't know about Nev and Jonathan doesn't want to change that.

"What's up little man?"

Nev smiled. "It smelled good so I came out. I wanna eat soon, so I figured if I cheer on the lasagna, it'll be done faster."

Jonathan laughed. That's adorable. Then his phone ringed, and there was that picture again.  _Oh shit. I have to pick up because I just called him though. Fuck._ Jonathan looked at his cell and at Nev. "Hey Nev. I'm going to talk to Vanoss on speaker. But he doesn't know I have a kid so I need you to not talk. But you'll be able to hear him, I promise. If you're good during this, I'll give you ice cream for dessert. Okay?" The annoying ringtone was still going as Jonathan waited for Nev to answer.

It was honestly funny how much of a fanboy Nev was, because as soon as Jonathan said Vanoss, his face lit up. Nev looked at him, confused, but said okay anyways.

"Good. Thank you. I'll explain it later, okay buddy?"

Jonathan tapped the answer button. "Hey Vanoss."

A chorus of voices came back through the phone, making Jonathan jump. "Heeeeeey, Delirious!"

"Oh my god, are you all there? Wildcat, Mini, Daithi, Lui, Moo, Terroriser, and Evan? DAMN! Hi guys! It's been ages!"

"It has been!" Evan practically shouted.

"Too loud dude. You're gonna blow out my phone's speaker. I have you guys on speaker phone."

"Sorry!" A bunch of slurred voices melded together.

"Oh. My. God. You guys are shi-" He glanced at Nev. "You guys are hammered."

"Fuck yeah we are!"

Jonathan sighed. So much for sheltering his kid. Well, he has seen their videos, which is full of profanity, but still. He gets point for trying.

"I just still can't believe that you guys are all together. Are you all in LA?"

"No, we're all at Evan's house in Toronto."

"Jesus, you guys all flew out there? Impressive."

"I WAS LONELY!" Evan shouted again.

Apparently Evan was a loud drunk. Good to know.

Nev looked at Jonathan and waved his hand as if he was in school. Jonathan nodded, asking silently what was up. Nev pointed to the oven, and Jonathan glanced at it. 

"Oh shit. I forgot to turn the timer on." He ran to the oven cursing himself internally.  _Stupid, stupid. I can't believe I forgot about that. Fuck, that was because I was too focused on calling my friends. Shit._ He yanked open the oven.

"Delirious, everything good?" Moo's voice came from his phone. 

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm just burning my food because I'm a dumbass." He looked at the lasagna. It didn't look too burnt, just a little bit of char on the cheese. He sighed and grabbed hotpads. He went to get the lasagna when a cheese bubble popped, covering his hand in scalding grease drops. He gasped in pain and jerked back and dropped the hot pad. In the oven. "FUCK." He said. He could feel Nev's stare from across the counter. He carefully maneuvered to the bottom of his oven and grabbed the hotpad. He grazed his finger on the grate on the way out and yelped. "OW. FUCK."

"Dad!" Delirious whirled around, holding his finger. Nev had rushed over as fast as he could, and was looking worriedly at Jonathan. "You hurt yourself!" He went and opened the freezer to get ice for Jonathan.  _What a sweetie._ Jonathan winced but pulled the lasagna out, and turned off the oven. He groaned. It wasn't a big burn, but my god, it hurt. Fucking burns are the worst.

"Ummmm, Delirious?"

 _OH SHIT FUCK BITCH TITS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-_ "Um, yes?"

Nev walked up to him and handed him the ice. Tears were forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know you said not to speak, but you were hurt and I couldn't not do something. I"m sorry." Tears started flowing down his cheeks. 

Jonathan knelt to the ground and hugged him. "It's okay. You were a huge help. It's okay. Don't cry. I'm not angry or anything. You'll still get ice cream, I promise." He can handle it. He just doesn't want Nev to cry.

"DELIRIOUS." Evan's voice rang through the house again.

"Sorry. What?"

There was a ridiculously tense pause. "So, you want to explain why there is someone in your house calling you dad?"

Jonathan sighed.  _Maybe I should lie. But these are my friends. I can't just do that. If they know, then maybe I can still go to the convention without them knowing. They won't know what he looks like. Or me....Plus, they're shitfaced. They probably won't remember. Okay. Truth it is._

"Well..." He started.

 

 


	7. That's the best name I could come up with?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangovers, meetings, and crises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the last chapter was short, so I figured I'd update sooner. :)  
> Or at least, that's what I said a week ago... Oops  
> As usual, thank you to everyone who's reading this. It's a lot of fun to write, and I love being able to share this! it's an honor. :)

"Ugh..." Evan groaned as he leaned up on his elbows to raise his face off his pillow. He winced from the throbbing pain that went through his head every time he blinked. What a hangover. He looked around his room, thankful for how dark he kept it. He flopped off his elbows back onto his pillow. Evan doesn't usually drink that much but last night was a special occasion. He struggled to remember what happened. Shots, drinking games, something with Delirious... 

Evan frowned and tried to remember. He winced again. Thinking hurt. He gave up and decided that there probably wasn't anything too memorable. It was fun, though. He curled up in his dark grey sheets, and tried to go back to sleep. He laid there for a while before rolling over and looking at his ceiling. He rubbed his eyes to try and clear that morning feeling. He stopped after  few rubs because it hurt. "Fucking stupid shit, doing stupid bull that makes you feel like ass the next day, dumb fuck." He mumbled as he rolled to the edge of the bed, and sat up. "What the fuck am I wearing?" He looked at his legs. He had on boxers, thank god, but he only had one leg of his jeans on and the other off, no shirt.  _How did I even manage this bullshit?_ He groaned again, but for a long ass time. He grabbed his phone after yanking off his other pant leg and turned it on. He winced at the bright light, but checked the time regardless.  _3 PM? Holy shit._ He threw his phone on the bed and practically jumped out of bed. That was definitely a mistake.

"EVAN SHUT UP! I CAN LITERALLY HEAR YOU PUKING!" Mini shouted.

Evan winced at the yelling at his door before going over the toilet for another wave of puking. He cursed himself the entire time for being stupid and getting completely wasted. After a few seconds, a flush of the toilet, and a quick mouthful of mouthwash, Evan opened the bathroom door to reveal a practically steaming Miniladd. 

"Put on some pants and get cleaned up. There's coffee and aspirin in the kitchen. I know everyone is gonna need it."

Evan looked at Mini through his messy bed head. "How are you not hungover?"

"I barely drank anything last night while you all got shitfaced. Besides, I have Irish blood in me." He smirked. "I have a high tolerance to alcohol."

Evan laughed before wincing again. "Well Nogla and Brian showed us that that myth isn't true."

Mini leaned against the wall closest to the bathroom's doorway and chuckled. "I'm honestly surprised you remember. You were pretty hammered."

"I remember everything leading up to getting drunk. Just nothing after that."

It seemed that Mini relaxed at these words, but he grinned. Evan looked at him suspiciously, and was about to ask why that was good when, Mini cut him off. "Go get some painkillers, I gotta use the bathroom."

Evan watched as Mini pushed past him, before walking back to his room and yanking on clothing. He grabbed his phone off his bed and shoved it in his pocket. He went to his kitchen and grabbed that coffee and aspirin that Mini had mentioned, he was downing the aspirin when he glanced up and nearly spat out his coffee. Everyone was asleep practically in a pile all over his living room. Daithi was on the couch, but was too tall for it, and Lui and Brock were by his feet. Tyler was sprawled across his carpet on the other side of the coffee table. Brian was practically on Tyler's lap. Evan laughed and pulled out his phone to take a picture. He paused when he unlocked it, though. It opened into his recent calls screen.  _Delirious- 9pm-1am._

_What the hell? Why was I talking to Delirious so long? HOW did I talk to delirious for so long with all my friends here?_

He decided to ask Mini later and snapped that photo. He sent it to those not there currently, including Delirious. It's good to have other people who have embarrassing photos of your friends so that there are always multiple copies. Completely worth it. Evan sat on one of the bar stools at his counter to wait for Mini to reappear and for the others to wake up. It felt like a good morning.

"ALRIGHT FUCKERS!" Mini's voice echoed throughout the house, causing Evan to jump and the others to start to wake up with loud groans and protests. "IT'S REAL LATE, SO YOU ALL NEED TO WAKE THE FUCK UP. C'MON. I WILL YELL UNTIL SOMEONE ANSWERS ME!"

"Mini-" Evan started.

"SOMEONE EXCEPT EVAN, AS HE IS ALREADY AWAKE."

"ALRIGHT ALREADY SHUT THE FUCK UP." Tyler's angry voice came from the coffee table.

"There we go. Fucking drunkards." Mini said, turning to face Evan. "Did you get the hangover medicine?"

"You mean the aspirin, yes. And the coffee." He raised his mug.

"Cool, cool. I'll get out more for the others."

"How did you even know where my aspirin is?"

"I was looking for it, as I knew what state you guys would be in when you woke up."

"Oh." Evan took a sip of his coffee and watched those in his living room detangle themselves and wince at noises and light. Yay to hangovers. He set down his mug. "Hey Craig."

"What?"

"My phone says that I talked to Delirious for four hours straight last night. Did I actually? And how?"

"Oh, no, we all talked to Delirious for four hours last night. You just yelled stupid things to him a bunch."

Evan felt heat rise up to his cheeks. He said dumb shit when he was drunk. He tended to say dumb shit very loudly.

"What did I say?"

Mini paused for a second, thinking about it. "You kept yelling that you want him to eat your pies."

If Evan wasn't blushing before, he was definitely blushing now. Of all the things he would say, it would be that, and the memories of the last time he baked a pie, and what thoughts came with it. He put his forehead on his arms and groaned.

"What, too embarrassing for you?" Tyler's voice came from next to Evan, clearly teasing him.  _OF COURSE THAT'S WHEN HE'D SIT DOWN AND TUNE INTO THE CONVERSATION!_

Evan raised his head in defense, causing a slight wave of pain, but he still faced Tyler. "Like you're any better, you bitch."

Now it was Tyler's turn to blush. He opened his mouth to talk but closed it again. Evan chuckled to himself. Just like a fish out of water.

"Here." Mini's voice interrupted Evan and Tyler's little embarrassment-off. He handed a mug of coffee and a few aspirin pills to Tyler. 

"T-thanks." Tyler said, hastily taking the pills.

Evan snorted and went to messages on his phone.

**To: WildTurd**

_I bet there has been one you've read where he gives you coffee and makes you breakfast, and you tell him you love him, and then you start passionately love-making after having a cute food fight, all in the kitchen. And I bet this reminded you of it._

Evan put his phone away to watch Tyler's face. Tyler grabbed his phone and shot Evan a glare when he saw who it was from. He opened it regardless, and Evan watched as his face turned bright red and scrunched up. He laughed as Tyler started violently typing a reply.

"Mind telling me what's going on between you two right now?" Mini interrupted, leaning on the counter.

They both sat up straight, blushing and mumbling that it was nothing.

Mini looked at them skeptically, waiting for one of them to say something. Then Tyler smirked. "Sooooo, what other stupid shit did Evan say to Delirious?"

Mini chuckled. "Well, there was all the pie shit, and then mumbles about court and yells about being lonely."

Evan was practically as red as a stop sign at this point, and he put his head in his hands. "My heart can't take all this embarrassment."

Tyler and Mini laughed, and Evan started mumbling about how they're fucking bitches and all suck hardcore.

While Mini was laughing, he couldn't help but feel very grateful that everyone was shitfaced. For Delirious' sake. Because what he said after he finished telling them about Nev and Amber really stuck with him.

 _'Thank god none of you guys will remember this. I need to give Nev the best birthday ever, and that means you guys can't know.'_ He had mumbled. Mini had been surprised, but Del had sounded so tired and sad when he said it, he decided that if the others didn't remember, he wouldn't tell them. 

 _______________________________________________________________________________________

"OH MY GOSH DAD YOU DIDN'T!"

"Happy birthday little man." 

Tears started to well up in Nev's eyes and he grinned like he was looking at the sun. Then he ran into Jonathan's open arms, still holding their PAX West passes in his hand. "I love you, dad."

Jonathan grinned and squeezed Nev back.  _What did I do to deserve such a sweet, mature boy? Because  whatever I did, I will keep doing?_

It was well worth those months of pain for this life he had ahead of him as a dad. Amber had to pay child support too, so he only had to worry about finances if she missed a payment. Jonathan looked at the wall over his shoulder, realizing that knowing Amber, she'll miss those payments. He let go of Nev and grinned.

"Dad."

Jonathan looked at Nev, confused. "You aren't happy. Why? Is it the wall?" Nev said, looking at the wall Jonathan was staring at.

Jonathan sighed. He had trouble hiding anything from Nev. He's very aware of Jon. "I am happy. Dad's just worried, that's all." He lifted Nev onto his shoulders to the wall.

"And you know I love this wall. It's so pretty." 

The wall was white, typically, but all over it were hand prints and swirls that Nev had made when he was younger, and broke into the paints. At first, Jonathan was really upset, and lectured Nev, but Nev hadn't bat an eye. The he had said: _'Dad, I know I should've asked, but don't you think it's pretty?'_ At the time, Jonathan had thought it looked more like someone threw up rainbows all over the wall, but for some reason, he thought that Nev had a point. So, he grabbed the wall paints he had in storage as well as all the paints he had for Nev that weren't already there, and he helped Nev make a mess on the wall. Overall, Jonathan was pretty modest. It didn't seem like it in his videos all the time, but he was. But when it came to his art skills, large scale only, he was pretty good. And once the mess was done, and Jonathan had Nev asleep in Jonathan's bed, he went into the room, and made the swirls of rainbow and hand prints into an elegant flower and background. He used more colors, and more white, but he made sure to have it centered around to clear hand prints of both him and Nev'a hands, side by side. So the wall was messy, but beautiful, and Jonathan loved it, and so did Nev.

Nev grinned in agreement and started bouncing on Jonathan's shoulders. "I'm so excited!!! How long 'till we go?"

Jonathan chuckled. "We have to wait a few more weeks still little man, I'm sorry."

"Are you gonna hang out with your friends?"

"No, I'm gonna be with you."

"Well, can I hang out with your friends?"

"Maybe."  _If Luke can do it._

"That's so cool!"

"No promises, but I hope you'll be able to enjoy yourself." He bounced Nev on his shoulders and started running around the room, listening to Nev laugh and feeling Nev hold onto his hair tightly, until his phone rang. 

"Alright little dude, I gotta get that. Down you go." He lowered Nev onto the floor. Nev looked up at him, grinning again. "I'm gonna start packing right now!"

Jonathan laughed and rubbed Nev's head. "You do that."

Nev scurried out of the room, and Jonathan pulled out his still ringing cellphone. "Jonathan speaking."

"Delirious, hey!"

"M-Mini?!"

"Uhh- yes?"

"Are you on speaker, can the others hear me?"

"No, calm down. I already told you I would remember everything, and I do. But I respect your privacy. And don't worry, the others don't remember anything."

Jonathan sighed in relief. 

"May I ask why?"

"Why what?"

"Why the others can't know. You said something about Nev's birthday."

"We're going to PAX West for his birthday."

"WHAT?!" Jonathan pulled his cellphone from his ear. Too loud. He heard voices on Mini's end.

"Ah, sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to be that loud." A pause. "OH? AND WHO'S FAULT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE A HEADACHE? SHUT UP."

Jonathan cleared his throat.

"Oh right, sorry. But really?"

"Yes, but the others can't know because Nev is a huge fanboy, and I just want to give him an authentic fan experience, with maybe a bit extra. I don't want to deal with fans and everyone being like FACE REVEAL, and shit. It's complicated, and it's not about me being anxious or afraid. I don't care. It's about Nev."

"Okay, okay, Mr. Defensive, I get it."

"DAAAAAD!"

"Is that him?" Mini asked.

"Yeah."

"Uh, Can I-"

"You wanna talk and see him?"

"I-if that's okay? I'm curious, and I'm good with kids and-"

Jonathan chuckled. "It's fine, it's fine." He hung up, and pressed facetime for Mini. He directed his camera towards the door and waited for the call to connect. Once it did, Jonathan called for Nev. "Neeev! Come back, daddy wants you to meet someone."

Nev ran into the room, practically beaming. "Dad, I can't find my suitcase! Who am I meeting?" But when he saw Craig's face on the phone he stopped right where he stood. "Da-Dad. Is that who I think it is?"

"Hi Nev!" Mini said, looking at him. 

"MINILADD!!!" Nev ran up and grabbed the phone, and started rambling about how he loved him with Mini barely getting a word in. Jonathan sat on the ground and watched this unfold. It was a lovely sight, seeing Nev all flushed and excited. Mini seemed really happy and excited too. Maybe a little too nervous. It's just a kid, it's not like he's gonna bite Mini through the phone. It was a taste of what was gonna happen at PAX. He was very excited.

"Hey, Mini, who are you talking to?"

"VANOSS!" Nev practically squealed. 

Pure panic settled in Jonathan's heart, and he yanked the phone out of Nev's hands and pressed the end call button. He dropped it to the ground, panting.  _CARELESS, STUPID, DUMBASS._ Nev looked at him. He didn't seem upset, or even happy. 

Until he said: "I bet they saw your face daddy." 

Jonathan's heart sunk.  _Oh no. Did I talk? Evan won't know, Mini will, but that's okay. I'm not prepared, oh my god, oh shit, oh shit._

"Stupid dad." Nev said angrily and walked out.

"Nev! Hey! Look, Dad's sorry. I didn't want to spoil your birthday! I just wanted to surprise you! Meeting Evan will happen in real life then, it'll be better! NEV!" Jonathan ran out of his room, trying to get Nev to not be angry with him.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

"C-Craig. Who was that? Who was that kid? AND WHO WAS THAT AT THE END?"

Mini was speechless. He couldn't even answer Evan. That frame at the end. That was Delirious. Platinum blonde hair, and blue eyes. That's all he could catch. "Tha-tha-oh my god."

"CRAIG! TELL ME!"

"It's an old friend and their son, that's all!" His voice was shaky, but he needed to stick up for Delirious.

Evan stared at him. It didn't feel right. It looked so oddly desirable. He hadn't felt that way since the last time he watched his mom bake a pie. There's no way Mini's old friend and son could make him feel that way. It seemed familiar.

"Craig, what's your friend's name?"

"Uhh, uhh, John."

Evan's face fell. _WAIT. Why am I disappointed?_

Evan sat on the floor next to Mini. _What the hell? I need more sleep._

Mini was cursing himself internally.  _REALLY CRAIG? JOHN?? HIS NAME IS JONATHAN AND THE BEST FAKE NAME YOU COULD COME UP WITH WAS JOHN???? WHAT THE FUCK?!_

He glanced at Evan. _I don't think he noticed. How can he be so obsessed with Delirious, and yet still be this dense? Okay, turns out we're both fucking idiots._ He leaned against the wall, and couldn't help but laugh.  _I guess this is why we're all friends._   


	8. Coon Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre-PAX Time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there was a big time leap, but I figured it was time to get this story moving along! Gotta get the shipping engines a-runnin'!  
> And as always, I hope you enjoyed!  
> Haha references  
> Also super sorry about the wait, there were lots of issues with everything about this chapter. ugh. But i do think it came out enjoyable. :)

"Jonathan! Wake up!" Luke shouted.

Jonathan woke up with a start in his seat on the plane."What? Why?"

"This ain't a one-way trip dumbass. You know that. We have a layover."

Jonathan attempted to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "Oh."

Luke snorted. "What would you do without me?"

"Get lost, wither up and die, guaranteed."

"Just get Nev's attention."

Jonathan looked to the window seat on his left. Nev was looking dreamily out the window. Jonathan grinned. He's turning nine in a few days, and he just seemed very happy. To get Nev to stop being mad at him when Jonathan had pulled him away from Vanoss, Jonathan had to practically beg for forgiveness. He certainly got his stubbornness from Amber. Jonathan had to promise him cake and a special meet-up with Vanoss. Which Jonathan wouldn't even know whether would happen or not. He had again, begged Luke to set that up. 

"Jonathan. Get Nev's attention." Luke repeated.

Jonathan blinked.  _Oops._ He poked Nev. "We're gonna be landing soon."

Nev turned to face him and grinned. "Where we'll get on another airplane that will take us to Seattle and then from there we will go to a hotel and the next day we'll go to PAX. I know Dad."

Jonathan stared at him as Luke laughed. "Your eight year old son knows what's happening better than you!" 

Nev grinned again and went back to watching the clouds go by the window. Jonathan knew that Nev had been following the plans, but damn. He did know what was happening better than Jonathan.  _Wow. Father of the year, right here._ Jonathan sighed and waited for the plane to land.

After a hectic stop, in which they got food and were almost late for their next flight, they were back to another plane. Jonathan and Nev spent this flight sleeping, as Luke just sighed, feeling like he was watching over two kids instead of just one.

______________________________________________________________________

Evan panted, frantically trying to find his phone. "GOT IT!" He said, raising it in the air.  _God, I thought I left that at home. That would've been the WORST thing I could've done._

He looked around himself and groaned. He had apparently managed, somehow, to throw everything in his suitcase all around his hotel room in search for his phone. When he had flown in yesterday, he must have tossed it in there before he fell asleep. The only issue was this means he had to clean up his hotel room. And the last thing he wanted to do was clean. 

Because when the boys left his house after a few days, it was almost impossibly messy. It took a whole day to even get it reasonable, much less Evan's expectations of clean. It was insane.

He stood up from his crouching position and he started getting clothes and throwing them haphazardly towards his suitcase.  _Good enough._

A pounding on his door stopped his lazy cleanup.

"Evan, you're late!"

"Shit." Evan mumbled. He opened his door to reveal a steaming Cartoonz.

"Why does this feel oddly familiar?" Evan mumbled. He feels like he constantly opens doors to angry people. 

Luke just gave him a look. "Hurry the fuck up. We're all going to dinner, which I told you before, you late fuck."

Evan sighed. His room is across the hall from Luke's. Luke keeps him in check, granted, but that doesn't make it any nicer when all Evan wants to do is sleep. Evan turned around and pulled on his sneakers. "Okay, let's go."

Luke snorted. "You sound like you're not late." He glanced at Evan. "What was that mess in your room about?"

Evan blushed. "You saw that?"

Luke nodded.

"I had lost my phone so I practically tore apart my suitcase to get it. And I was in the middle of cleaning when you stopped by."

"Ah, I see."

"So, how was your flight?"

Luke smiled like he was telling a joke. "It was good, and it was two flights actually. It was really tiring because, I don't even know how this is possible, but both flights I got stuck sitting next to the father and son. And sometimes it seemed like the son was more mature than the father. They were both very rambunctious." He laughed. "They even fell asleep at the same time. They were really in sync."

Evan looked at Luke. He sounded really happy. He looked around at the drab walls along the hotel hallway. "Maybe they were coming here. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence."

Luke laughed. "For some reason, I have a feeling you're right."

Evan glanced at him again, he seemed too happy. They reached the elevator and it was time to go meet their friends, so Evan decided silence was his best bet. Luke was practically shining and Evan wanted to find out why. His friends doubt his detective skills, but Evan was pretty proud of them. This clearly was due to the people he was talking about that were on the plane with him. But why?

"GUYS, YOU'RE LATE." Tyler yelled, causing Evan to snap out of his thoughts. 

"It ain't my fault." Luke said, nudging Evan forward.

Evan went into defensive mode. "If Luke had gotten me sooner, we wouldn't be late. It wasn't completely my fault."

Everyone laughed. Evan's defensive mode was honestly so funny. He acted like a two year old. Evan looked around. There was Tyler, Mini, Lui, David, and Marcel. The usual gang was all here, which was comforting in a way.  _Guess we couldn't convince Delirious. Again. I should've known, it's usually useless anyways. Whatever._ Evan still had a funny feeling though.

"Hey man." Hugs were distributed as everyone said their greetings. They all left the hotel lobby and started to walk the streets of downtown Seattle. "So, where do you guys want to eat?" Tyler asked, glancing at everyone.

Evan's jaw dropped. "I THOUGHT YOU SAID I WAS LATE. DIDN'T WE HAVE A RESERVATION OR SOMETHING?"

Everyone looked at him. "You are so weird. No, you were just late to meeting us, you dense fuck." Tyler said.

"Stop calling me a dense fuck. Is this your new thing?"

Tyler laughed. "If you weren't dense, you would know the answer to that."

A chorus of 'OH"s and "ROASTED"s followed that. Evan couldn't help but laugh along and he lightly punched Tyler with a string of insults following. The banter continued as they walked along. No one figured out where they wanted to eat, but they didn't care. At least until it started raining.

"Are you serious?" Daithi said, looking up at the sky. "It feels like I never left Ireland."

"Oh c'mon Nogla, we should've guessed this would happen. Let's figure out where we are gonna eat so we don't get soaked." Lui said.

"How about here?" Marcel said, pointing to a small Italian restaurant that was tucked in between a clothes and furniture store. It looked kind of sketchy, but it was really starting to pour rain.

"Okay, whatever!"

They all rushed inside and met the hostess, who looked quite bored. She perked up slightly at the attractive men, and asked them how many were in their party.

 _This place is clearly deserted, does it even matter?_ "Seven." Evan said.

She grinned. "Right this way." She led the way, hips swaying.  _Is there really a need for this? It doesn't matter which one of us she's interested in, but none of us are interested._

Once they were all seated and she left to go get their drinks, Marcel leaned forward. "Who do you think she's interested in? I mean, it's not me, I give off my 'happily taken' vibe. Which is the way I like it, but still, who do you think?"

 "Definitely me, I mean, who could deny all the glory that is me?" Mini said, jokingly. 

"Seriously though? Probably Evan or Daithi. Knowing women." Tyler said. "They have like a sixth sense to when people are taken."

"But a lot of us here are single." Luke said.

"Maybe she's interested in all of us." Lui said, making everyone laugh. Some women may be shallow but they have yet to meet someone as shallow as that.

"Maybe we can figure it out by the end of the night." Evan suggested. Everyone agreed to keep an eye on it, and started looking at the menu.

After Evan decided on the ravioli, he looked up. Tyler and Craig were arguing about ordering the same dish, and the others were just quietly trying to decide, occasionally speaking to one another about what looked good. Evan glanced around. It was a restaurant with a simple atmosphere. It had a lot of dark browns and reds and black. It was dimly lit and oddly comforting. It might look super sketchy, but on the inside it's warm and comforting. Maybe it'll be nice. It was still fairly deserted, and Evan glanced around from the table where they were sitting to see if there were any other customers. There was a couple who were speaking quietly, and a father and son arguing not so quietly about pasta versus salad. Apparently the kid needed to eat the salad but he wanted pasta.  _He can eat a salad tomorrow, why not let him eat pasta? This is an Italian restaurant._ He watched the platinum blonde father argue with the son a little more until the son stole a bite from his father's plate. A look of panic flashed across the father's face and he sighed. They started speaking in lower voices and Evan lost interest as the waitress came back with the drinks. 

Once the drinks were all dispersed, the boys ordered their food and started talking about anything and everything. What was going on in their loves, what they were planning on doing for PAX, and what games they were looking forward too. Evan joined into the conversation with enthusiasm. It's always super nice to just have dinner and hang out with his friends. Mini started vlogging at one point, and it made Evan wish he had his real life owl mask. It's not that he hates showing his face, it's just that he's uncomfortable with how awkward he is. Then their food showed up and they all dug in. The food was fairly good, not the best, not the worst.

Then Luke's phone rang and he picked it up. "What's up this time?" He sounded tired. 

There was a pause and then Luke shot out of his chair. Everyone looked at him over their food. "I have to take this privately. I'll be back." Then he walked off.

"What was that about?"

"Who knows?" 

Mini watched Luke walk away. He had a funny feeling. He glanced at Evan, who had turned his attention to a table behind Mini.

Mini glanced around to look at the child, now alone at the table picking at his salad, and froze.

______________________________________________________________________

"WHAT THE HELL JONATHAN? WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Luke closed his phone and pushed back in his pocket to meet a practically crying Delirious in the bathroom of the restaurant. 

Delirious hurriedly answered. "I didn't know you guys would be here, you're miles away from your hotel. Nev wanted Italian food, I don't know why and this was the closest place so we went here, and then I told Nev to eat a salad because he ate too much grease and too many carbs today so he needed to balance it out because of his malnutrition and then he stole my food after we argued for a bit and I don't know what to do, what if Nev collapses again, it's not even his birthday yet, I don't know what to do, and Evan kept staring at us, which made me nervous, and I'm so worried, what if Nev has to go-"

"Jonathan." Luke said, trying to get him to stop talking so fast and take a breath.

"I can't I don't know what to do, I'm super lucky Nev hasn't noticed that you guys are you guys, I-what if he- he needs a salad, what am I doing in here, I have to go to him and make him eat his salad-"

"Jon. Calm down, it's okay. One bite of pasta isn't gonna kill him. His case isn't that severe. It's okay even if he does recognize us. You have Mini and I covering for you. Look, Jon, I can't have you panicking like this all weekend. It won't end well for anyone. Especially you and Nev, okay? Take a deep breath and I will go personally make sure that Nev eats his salad, okay?"

Jonathan was quiet for a few seconds before nodding and walking out of the bathroom, Luke following. Then Jonathan stopped, and Luke almost ran into his smaller frame. Luke groaned, he had just calmed down too. He looked around Jonathan to see Mini shaking hands with Nev and striking up a conversation. Oh. Luke thought something worse happened. He leaned to Jonathan. "Hey, it's okay. Remember, Craig already knows, and is covering for you. It's alright. Go on." He gave Del a slight push forward.

Del nodded and started walking towards his son. Mini noticed him and beamed. He took Jonathan into a hug. "It's nice to finally see you, John."

Delirious pulled away and looked at Mini. Mini winked and went back to Nev. Jonathan exhaled in relief and glanced over to the table where the others were. They were all watching him and his table. Then a loud noise as Evan stood up. "THAT'S WHERE I RECOGNIZE YOU!"

Jonathan took a step back. "E-Excuse me?"

Evan started making his way over, and Luke leaned to Jonathan again. "Change your voice a bit. Just in case" He whispered, and then went to scold Nev as Jonathan ended up face to face with Evan. It was an odd feeling, finally meeting someone you've been so close with for so long.

"You're John! From the phone call I walked in on! Sorry about that by the way. I'm Evan." he said, sticking out his hand. Jonathan was confused for a second until the realization hit him.  _HE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S ME. Oh._

Jonathan took his hand tentatively. Now it was **really** weird. "I'm John. Nice to meet you." he said with a slightly lower voice than his natural one.

Evan grinned. "So, you came here with your son to go to PAX?"

Jonathan nodded tentatively. "Yeah, he's a big fan of all you guys."

"Oh, really? I'll go say hi!"

Jonathan didn't say or do anything as Evan walked over to where Nev and Luke were. Luke noticed and switched what he was saying to Nev. 

"Are you enjoying your food?" 

Nev pouted. "No."

Evan leaned over Luke's shoulder, since Luke was crouching. 

"Hello!" he said, waving.

Nev blushed a furious red. "H-Hello."

"I'm Evan!"

Nev looked at Jonathan. "I know.." he muttered.

"Are you nervous?" 

Jonathan looked back at Nev and felt his anxiousness lessen. "You don't need to be, he won't bite." he said.

Evan grinned. "Your dad is right you know. I won't bite. What's your name?"

"I'm Nev."

"Nice to meet you Nev. How old are you?"

Jonathan stepped in. "He's almost nine. I brought him here for his birthday."

Evan grinned. "How exciting. What about your mom?"

Evan watched the impact this statement had. The man's, John's, face stiffened and he looked ready to murder someone. Nev, on the other hand, his face lit up and he looked hopefully at his dad.

"Is she coming?" He asked, his face full of hope.

Jonathan snapped. "For the last time Nev, your mom isn't coming! I'm sorry honey, but she just isn't!" he yelled.

Nev looked down. "Sorry."

Luke was watching, starting to worry. Jonathan hadn't hidden his voice when he yelled. But more than that, Jonathan almost never yells at Nev. The last time he did was when Nev was super reckless and almost fell off a bridge. Might be time to cut a dinner short.

Evan looked at Nev, who had silent tears falling down his face. Jonathan went into a heated discussion with Luke, not even caring about the others.

"Hey..." Evan said, trying to get Nev's attention.

Nev looked up. "What?"

"Do me a favor."

"What?"

"If you can understand that your dad didn't mean any harm, then I'll give you the best PAX experience ever on your birthday, okay? Your dad didn't mean to yell, so stop crying, okay?"

Nev looked at him with tear filled eyes and a slight grin. "I will, if you promise."

Evan nodded. "I promise. Will you stop crying now?"

Nev blushed again, still crying.  _What a cute kid._ "Can I get a hug?"

 _What an ADORABLE kid._ "Of course!" Evan extended his arms.

He let Nev hug him really tightly and bury his head in his shoulder. Nev was crying a lot. "I know why my mom isn't coming, even though dad doesn't want me to."

Evan frowned in sympathy and hugged Nev tighter. Not something he usually does with a fan, but for some reason, he's been drawn to this kid and his dad since he saw them on Mini's phone. And this kid crying was just too sad for Evan. "Shh, I'm sorry, I know, I know." He rubbed soothing circles on Nev's back.

"Well, would you look at that, Evan is already being a better dad than you." Luke teased Jonathan.

Jonathan looked at Evan and Nev. "Yeah..."

"That was a joke you know."

"Yeah."

"What is up with you today?"

Jonathan looked sadly at Nev, realizing he was hugging and blubbering all over his hero, jumped back and apologized over and over to Evan. "Amber called."

Luke narrowed his eyes. "I swear to god, that fucking bitch-"

Jonathan put a hand on Luke's shoulder. "Yes, but we can't do anything about it now. I didn't give her what she wanted, but she can't get the child support this month. I'll take Nev back to the hotel. Hopefully he'll forgive me before we hit PAX tomorrow."

Luke sighed. "i don't know how you do this everyday Jon."

Jonathan chuckled. "Neither do I."

He walked over to where Evan and Nev were talking. "Hey you two. What are you talking about?"

"What we'll be doing on his birthday. I made him a promise." Evan grinned up at Jonathan from where he was sitting.

"And how I became a fan through you!" Nev said, He seemed happier but he still wouldn't meet Jonathan's eyes.

_So much for giving him a normal fan experience. Stupid Evan._

"Sounds like fun. Hey, can you wrap it up soon though? We should get going."

Evan nodded and went back to talking with Nev.

Jonathan glanced at the others, who were all eating their food, talking about random shit.

"You should tell them now." Mini said, suddenly behind Jon.

Jonathan jumped. "Jesus, you scared me."

"Sorry, I guess. But seriously, you should. Evan ruined your whole point for not telling them, so might as well."

An idea came to Jonathan and he grinned. "I'll tell everyone tomorrow."

"Really? Awesom-"

"EXCEPT Evan."

"-e. Wait, what?"

Jonathan smiled. "He ruined my plans, so I'm gonna mess with his head. I'll drop all kids of hints, and mess with him."

Mini looked at him in awe. "You really are a psychopath."

"You know it."

Luke, who was eavesdropping, stepped in now. "Do it Jon. The dense brick deserves it."

Laughter followed this statement from the three. Jonathan walked over to Nev.

"C'mon Nev, we should go. Say bye to Vanoss. You'll see him tomorrow."

Nev got up, thanked Evan and said bye. Jonathan looked Evan directly in the eye.

"See you tomorrow. We really need to be getting back to the Coon Cave now." He said in his normal voice. He winked and led Nev out of the restaurant.

Evan sat at the table, dumbfounded.  _That sounded like Delirious, but it didn't at the same time? Is it because I'm only used to his voice through a shitty mic? No, what? He winked! Why, what? He looked really good when he did it too WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING-_

"He's getting more and more red by the second." Luke said.

Mini laughed. "He is. I bet he thought he was cute, the fuckin' idiot. He's also probably thinking it wasnt actually Jon."

"There's no doubt."

They laughed as they watched Evan turn as red as a tomato and struggle with his thoughts.


	9. Why is he special?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PAX Time, this time. Evan can't get Jon out of his head, and Nev is catching on, as he is more mature than he lets on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I'm really flattered so many people are reading this! I'm complete trash about all my fandoms, including H20Vanoss, so it's super nice to have an input in the fandom, and see that other people are enjoying it. I'm also super sorry for the less frequent updates, hopefully I'll get off my ass and write more. I love writing but I'm lazy as all hell.
> 
> Also, sorry this chapter is kinda short. There's gonna be a lot in the next chapter, and I wanted to have it all in one focusing on that, so short chapter. But hopefully the next chapter'll be up soon!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and enjoy this chapter!

Evan didn't get a wink of sleep. He tossed and turned all night trying to figure things out. It didn't help that he had to meet the fans and do a panel the next day. It made him anxious. In the end, he stayed up all night trying to find that one video of Delirious with a good microphone. The one he uploaded and then all his fans lost their shit. He needed to know.

So, when the others saw him the next morning, they all nagged him.

"Evan, really? Now I have to deal with you tired all day?" Tyler said.

Mini and Luke glanced at each other knowingly. It was obvious that Evan was trying to figure things out last night. They had eaten after Delirious left, and Evan was silent the entire time. He hadn't even said good night when they got back to the hotel.

"I guess." Evan said quietly.

Tyler laughed, as they waited for everyone to show up. He put his arm over Evan's shoulder and leaned down to whisper to Evan as they walked out of the hotel to start to walk to the convention. "What were you doing all night?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

 _Not so fast._ Evan thought.  _I'm not letting him get a leg up on me._

"What were  _you_ doing? You look just as sleep-deprived as me."

Evan wasn't stupid, and he has been friends with Tyler for a long fucking time. He knows when Tyler is tired.

Tyler let go of Evan's shoulder. He rubbed the back of his head as they followed the rest of the group to an intersection, to wait for the pedestrian light to turn on. 

"Reading you-know-what."

Evan stared at him, mouth open. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Evan turned red. "How can you just say that so bluntly?!"

Tyler glanced down at Evan and smirked. "Unlike an Asian I know, I've come to terms with it, and know that it's okay. I also figured out some things thanks to that. I never would've thought, but still."

"What?! How?!"

Tyler chuckled at Evan's astonishment. They continued walking as the the pedestrian light flashed for them to go. "Help."

Evan's eyes widened, and he almost stopped in the middle of the intersection. "NO. WAY."

"Who else reads it?"

Tyler looked at him. He smirked. "figure it out you dingus."

"First of all, rude. Second of all, who the HELL still calls people dingus? This isn't 2009, sorry. And third of all, you should just tell me you prick!"

Tyler opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Luke. "Why are you two lagging so far behind? Hurry up."

Evan looked at Tyler and pouted. If it turns out that Tyler and him weren't the only ones with a guilty pleasure as embarrassing as this, then he wants to know. And now he's the only one that doesn't. It pisses him off.

"Welp. We're here." Mini said. They flashed their passes at security and walked into the convention building. It was always astonishing how big it is and how cool it is. There were the gaming tournament areas, all the booths, everything was being set up. They got their schedules and talked to the Twitch streamers to get an idea of how things'll run. This first day was more of a fan meetup for them, an autograph day, basically. Tomorrow will be their panel, and then the third day, more autographs, but time for them to explore the convention as well.  _It'll be a busy three days._

They got to their little designated area and started to get comfortable. After a while of talking and joking, they started to go around and talk to familiar faces, just passing the time until the convention starts and the people come pouring in. 

Evan had bundled himself up in a chair to the side of the corner of their area, as he didn't really like the public things anyways. He just wasn't super comfortable. It's not like he hated his fans, but, he got nervous. He pulled out his phone to text Delirious about the convention. But as he tapped his name he stopped. All his worries for the previous night came rushing back, and he put his phone away.

_It just doesn't make sense. Why on earth would Delirious come here without telling any of us? And why would he bring a KID with him? Wait._

Evan rose his head to focus on the time so he knows when he has to emerge. He exhaled. 20 minutes. They'll start letting in about ten minutes before. 10 Minutes. That's enough time. He put his head down and thought, having a mental debate.

_Was it his kid? But the kid, Nev, talked about his mommy... Is Delirious married? But, wait I haven't even figured out if he is Delirious yet, SHIT._

Luke chuckled, looking at Evan. You could practically see the smoke and frustration coming from Evan's head. It reminded Luke of Jonathan. It was ridiculous.

He walked over to Evan. "You good, owl boy?"

Evan's head shot up and he stared at Luke, eyes wide. Luke took a few steps back in reaction. "You scared me."

"IS DELIRIOUS HERE?" Evan said very slowly.

Luke froze for a second. This wasn't according to plan. He opened his mouth. "N-"

"C'mon guys, the people are arriving!" Marcel yelled.

Luke saw his escape, and went to join Marcel.

 _Dammit._ Evan had hoped that since Luke was friends with Jonathan in real life. So he'd definitely know.  _Stupid people, they couldn't have waited three more seconds?_

He sighed. That was NOT the mindset to have if you're about to meet your fans and hang out with your friends.

He stood up and walked over to the rest of the boys.

* * *

 

"Are you excited Nev?" Jonathan said, walking with Nev to the convention, passes bouncing on the chests.

Nev played with his lanyard and looked at his feet.

"Nev."

Jonathan looked worriedly at Nev. "Are you still angry?"

Nev sighed. He let his pass fall. He looked ahead, and Jonathan noticed that he looked really tired. But not due to lack of sleep. He looked adult tired. "I'm not angry."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Jonathan looked at his dejected son. The rebellious stage already? Isn't he three years early? Jonathan didn't really know how to handle it. It's his first time raising a youngster. It's not like he knows exactly what to do. 

They walked in silence towards the convention center. Once there, Jonathan ruffled Nev's hair. "Let's try to have fun little man."

Nev grinned up a Jonathan. "Yeah!"

They went to wait in the line to get inside, which actually went pretty fast, especially since they were a little late. The lines inside though, much much longer and slower. There were thousands of people, and lights flashing everywhere.

It struck awe in Jonathan and Nev. They bounced around the convention excitedly. And every so often, to Jonathan's joy, he'd see someone wearing one of his shirts.

He'd swell with pride each time. Over the next few hours, him and Nev went all over the convention. He played some COD in the competition and was, of course, amazing at it. He bought a bunch of merch for both him and Nev. By lunchtime, they were already worn out, but it was a nice worn out, and they definitely weren't ready to leave. They were sitting at the food court, munching on their food, resting their feet for a while. 

"Dad."

"Hm?" Jonathan said, slurping on his soda.

"Let's go to the banana bus squad meetup! Let's go see Luke!"

Jonathan smirked and ate another bite of his burrito. "okay. We'll probably have to wait like three hours, but okay."

"Awesome!" Nev said, reading through the papers he's gotten, and examining the map of the convention.

Jonathan chuckled and sent a text to Luke to tell him that they'd be stopping by.

They finished eating and headed over to the booth. And just as Jonathan expected, there was quite a long line. Laughter and talking filled the entire convention, but laughter seemed more concentrated by the booth. Jonathan could hear Evan's wheezy laugh, and Mini's signature laugh. It made Jonathan laugh too. Memories of sessions flood back to him, making him grin. 

"Dad, why aren't you up there with them?" Nev asked, well aware of his dad's job.

Jonathan looked at the booth, and smiled sadly. He could just barely make out the boys at the front. It looked like Marcel and Lui were dancing and bobbing to a beat Mini was making. Evan was shaking hands and signing things, while joking around with Tyler. Luke was starting to join in on the dancing. Of course he'd love to be up there with them. But-

"It's because I'd rather spend all three days of the convention with my son." He smiled and ruffled Nev's hair.

Nev laughed and swatted his dad's hand away. "Next time, just have me up there with you all!"

 _This kid, I swear._ Jonathan looked at him, proud.  _I love him._

* * *

"H-Hello. My n-name is Anna. I've been a huge fan of yours for years." A small, stout girl said.

Evan smiled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Evan, but I bet you already knew that, huh? Look, there's no need to be nervous. This is a casual thing. Thank you for enjoying my videos, it's very nice."

The girl turned bright red and started stuttering more and more. "You're w-welcome. Oh god, I'm stuttering s-so much, this wasn't s-supposed to happen."

Evan chuckled. "Don't worry. Here's a secret: I'm really nervous too." 

After constant 'thank you's' from Anna and a signed poster, Evan flopped on the table. He was tired. He loved all his fans, but he doesn't handle people well.  _Ah, well. I give them one of the best days of their year. That means something. Grow a pair, you wuss. Man, I gotta work on these pep talks._

"You tired?" Luke said, flopping down next to Evan, Tyler in tow.

 A bunch of groaning followed. "It's almost five, we have like a minute of the day left. We can push through." The security guards were making the rest of the people in line leave and asking them to come again. But after some talking between the gaurds and the man and child at the front of the line, they let them through.

"EVAN!" 

Evan looked up at this. He's been greeted a lot of different ways, today, but this and a tackling hug was a first for the day. He looked down to see a mess of black hair. He still didn't know who it was until he looked up. There was John, standing there with wonderfully wind swept hair and looking amazing in a well fit blue top. He had on a little backpack and was carrying lots of bags. Evan couldn't help but smile when he realized who's arms were wrapped around his waist.

"Hi Nev." In his peripheral vision, he saw Luke and John hug real quickly, and then John went and hugged Mini.

"How was your day?" 

Evan put his hand on Nev's head. "It was really tiring, but I'm good now." He kept his eyes on John, trying to see whether or not he's actually Delirious.

"Why are you staring at my dad?" Nev asked, following Evan's line of sight.

Evan blushed and started waving his hands in front of his face, because that's a 100% natural reaction that everyone does.  _Right?_ "Oh-uh-I was just-uhh..."

"Are you figuring it out?" Nev said, wiggling his eyebrows, looking up while still hugging Evan.

"E-excuse me?"

Nev laughed. "You were really slow about it by the way."

Evan's world came crashing down and he pushed Nev away. "Sorry, but I gotta talk to your dad."

Luke was laughing with John when he spotted Evan coming over, bright red. "Oops, looks like someone figured out who you were."

Delirious laughed. "I'm surprised it took him this long. All the others already confronted me about it."

"I tried to tell you that they'd find out. I didn't think you'd help them find out, but still. I think Nev is gonna get not just a normal fan experience, but the ULTIMATE fan experience. Isn't that what you want?"

Jonathan sighed, pausing the conversation with Luke because there was a large presence of a very tense Evan right next to him.

"Hey Evan."

"YOU'RE DELIRIOUS, YES OR NO?"

Jonathan rolled his eyes. He couldn't help it at this point. Evan is so funny and smart, but holy shit, he needs to make some more connections to things. "Hi. The name's Jonathan, or as you've known me, H20 Delirious. Nice to finally meet you."

Evan was frozen in place, starting to turn even brighter red. "Bu-But, how? Why didn't you tell us? Where have you been for the last two months? Why did you not tell me, when I met Nev? Wait, why do you have Nev, oh my god, Delirious are you married?" He said this at the speed of light.

"Evan, calm down. Too many questions. We'll talk later, okay? I'll explain everything to you over dinner with the others tonight."

"But-But-" Evan turned to the others. "Did you guys know?"

A bunch of nodding and smirking followed. "AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!"

Nev walked up behind them, and stood by his dad. He beamed, extremely happy to be side by side with all of his heroes. 

Evan stood and looked at Jonathan and Nev, side by side.  _Is this why I thought he seemed special?_

But as Evan looked at Delirious, it was clear that to Evan, something was still special about him. He didn't know what exactly.

Jonathan sighed and turned to Luke. "Doesn't look like Evan is willing to wait for an explanation. We'll get dinner early. Watch Nev for me." He turned to Nev and crouched so he was eye level with Nev. "Go with Luke, okay? I have to talk with Mr.Vanoss over here."

Nev nodded and waved a goodbye to Evan. Then he walked to Luke.

Evan waved back halfheartedly, his brain basically moving in slow motion.

 _What the hell is happening?_ He thought, as he turned to see Jonathan beaming at Evan, before grabbing Evan in for a hug. 

"It really is nice to see you in real life."

Evan hugged back. "Yeah, same to you too."

"Well, whaddya think?" Jonathan said after braking the hug. He stuck a pose and attempted to be seductive.

"impressive. Very impressive. You look really good. Better than I imag-" Evan realized what he was saying and shut up and looked at his feet.

Jonathan got out of his pose and chuckled a little bit. He pulled Evan forward so they could start walking side by side to a restaurant. They waved bye to the others, but Evan was still looking at his feet blushing furiously.

Jonathan and Evan walked down the street in silence, until Jonathan mumbled: "Thank you for the compliments.You got a little gay there, but I understand. With my level of attractiveness, everyone falls for me!" He got louder as he said this though.

It made Evan laugh.

_But still, why is he special? Even before I knew he was Delirious, why?_


	10. Why didn't you tell me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EXPLANATIONS, PLOT, WOW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo, quicker updates! And once again, thank everyone so much for reading. Things will be getting interesting from here on in. I'm excited! ;) 
> 
> And as always, I hope ye enjoyed!

It was really nice along the streets of Seattle, and it wasn't even raining. Evan had no idea what was going on, but Jonathan was humming a little tune as he walked alongside Evan. Evan watched people pass by and kept walking without really looking where he was going. It was a comfortable quiet, but Evan was burning with questions. 

"Where are we going to get dinner?"

Jonathan turned to look at him. "I don't fucking know." He grinned.

"How do you not know? You're dragging me out."

"As if! You certainly put up a fight!" Jonathan said sarcastically, teasing Evan.

"Can you blame me? It's the first time I've ever seen you, and you have a son, and look like this? Of course I'd agree. Anyone sane would." Evan grumbled.

Jonathan sighed, the smile melting off his face. "Sorry I couldn't give you guys the incredible reveal all the fans expect. And sorry it wasn't as dramatic as some of the other ones. We didn't get angry with each other, so yay to that, but still... Sorry."

"No need to apologize. You're here, at least. That's enough. It's been what, four years of trying to convince you?"

Jonathan chuckled at that. "Yeah, I can explain that too. But yeah, after four years, I'm actually here. Woo!"

Evan smiled as they continued walking. His head was still full of questions, but at this point, he's just happy to be physically hanging out with one of his best friends. They walked in silence again, weaving their way through the crowds on the streets, and Evan watched the sun start to set. They had been walking for about an hour when Jonathan stopped.

Evan looked at Jon, raising an eyebrow at his choice. 

Jonathan nodded and dragged Evan inside a small bakery. It was well lit and warm. The smell of fresh bread wafted through the place. There were a lot of different shades of brown, but there was a light shade of green splattered across the walls and stuff. It was nice, but Evan wasn't really a fan of other people's baking. His mom's is the best. That's super cheesy but still. It just wasn't the same. Jonathan on the other hand,  _loved_ other people's baking since he couldn't bake for shit. Cooking, he could do easily enough, but baking, not so much. He's always loved bakeries.

"Wow. It's really nice in here." Jonathan said, walking up the counter while examining the menu.

"We like to think so." The girl at the register said, smiling at Jonathan and Evan. "What would you like today?"

"Hmm, can I get a medium drink, and a soup bowl. Clam Chowder. Oh, and four chocolate croissants!" He looked at Evan. "And you?"

Evan scanned over the menu. "Can I get a water and uhh, the Chicken Parmesan?"

"No problem. You want pesto on that?"

"Please." Evan said.

"Alright." She gave them their drinks. "That'll be right up. Your total is $33.27."

Jonathan pulled out his wallet.

"Wait, Del. I'll pay since you'll be doing most of the talking tonight."

Jonathan waved Evan off and handed his card to the lady. "Nope."

He signed the receipt, grabbed their table number and their drinks. Then he led the way to a pretty secluded table in the corner of the bakery.

"Really Evan?" Jonathan said once they sat down. "Italian again? Do you have an obsession?"

"Shut up." Evan said. "I just don't really like other people's baking." He got quieter and quieter as he explained this.

Jonathan flushed red. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't even asked whether or not you wanted to eat here. I just got excited. I love bakeries. Sorry, Evan. Really."

"Don't be. It'll still be delicious. Don't worry about my weird ideals."

They leaned back in their chairs and started to relax. It was dark outside now.  _It's odd for a bakery to be open this late._ Evan thought while sipping his water.

Jonathan sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He twiddled with his black earring on his right ear nervously. "Guess I should start explaining, huh?"

Evan nodded. He stared at Jonathan's ear piercings. He didn't know he had those. He also didn't know that Jonathan fiddled with them when he was nervous. A good thing to keep in mind for later. "Where should I start?"

Evan didn't hesitate. "Start with Nev."

"Figures. What about him?"

"You know."

"He's not my son, for what it's worth."

"What?"

Jonathan looked away from Evan. "He's not my biological son. I have custody over him now though." He put his face in his hands. "Those were rough months. But he's mine now."

"Are you married Del?"

Jonathan laughed. It was cold and cruel, nothing like his normal one. "Not anymore."

"Why?"

Another sigh. "Her name is Amber. Don't laugh, but we were high school sweethearts."

 _Idiot._ Evan didn't laugh. "Did you guys get married in high school?"

"God no. I'm not that idiotic. We dated in high school, maintained a long distance relationship, and eventually I asked her to marry me. And she did. This took about a year out of high school. Looking back, I know it was too fast, but she was so great back then. Evan, you don't even know. Everyone loved her. She was the jewel that I managed to find. But the key word there is was." He had talked so lovingly describing Amber that Evan wanted to gag. Too much gushing. But Jonathan emerged from his hand shelter, and it was clear there was no love on his face. It gave Evan the shivers.

"Then a few months later, she got pregnant. Those were some of the happiest months of my life. I was gonna have a child Evan. It was amazing. She had almost hit her third trimester when I finally came out of my euphoric state. Then I realized, it couldn't possibly be mine. I'm a good man, I wear a fucking condom. We hadn't even talked about kids or anything. That was also when the phone calls started, and we started losing money." Jonathan was getting more and more angry as he went along. Meaning he ended up getting pretty loud. Evan was about to tell him to calm down a little bit when their waiter came by with the food and the bag of croissants.

Once the waiter left and they started digging into their food, Jonathan seemed to calm down. He happily ate his soup and tore off chunks of the bread bowl. Evan also enjoyed his pasta, it was pretty good. the chicken was pretty under seasoned, but oh well. 

 After a little bit of silence, Jonathan spoke up again. "She had an affair. The kid was his. He'd call our house, and talk to her for hours. I know now it was about the drugs, and running away from me." His voice broke. "She said she needed money for the baby. She said she paid the medical bills, and bought all the clothes and toys. She didn't, the bitch. The bills came, and it was devastating. I had to go beg for my old office job back just so I could pay the electrical bill after paying for all the medical bills. So, I had two jobs to pay for everything. I still do, because of her. I found out about all this, and I kicked her out. I said I'd take her to the doctor's and hospital, and that's it. She only gets my help when it comes to the baby. I'm not heartless. I couldn't leave a pregnant girl to fuck up her life and the kid's. So I took her to the hospital when I had to. Then, the day he was born. A long, long fucking day. It was a natural birth, no c-section needed, so she was tired, but she could leave if she wanted to. I thought she'd be in the waiting room with me while they dealt with the baby.  The baby, Nev, had a lot of issues. He needed surgery and a bunch of stuff to help his immune system. I know now that it's an enzyme deficiency, but at the time, I had no idea, and was scared out of my mind. Sure, he wasn't my kid, but he was my wife's son, and that's enough of an obligation to take care of him."

He tore off another piece of bread and played with it in his hands as he continued. "So, I waited while he got surgery. They came to get me, thinking I was the father. They asked me where the mother was. I figured she was in her room still since she wasn't in the waiting room. I told them that, and they blatantly told me she wasn't there. I called her over and over again. For as long as I could. Then the nurse gave up and told me to come see the son, who had survived surgery, thank god, and that I needed to fill out all the paperwork. They took me to the NICU and there he was. Tubed and attached to so many wires and horrible scary medical things. But he was breathing. And his heart was pumping. It made me cry, he was so beautiful and terrifying. So cheesy, but so true. Then the told me they never received a name for him. Amber and I hadn't planned that out, because I kicked her out before we could talk about names. It wasn't even my son, why would I have to name him? Well, I can tell you. I'd have to name him if his mother and biological father ran off together on the day of his birth to a different state."

Evan's jaw dropped. "That makes me sick."

Jonathan smiled a sad smile. "How do you think I felt? So, I named him Nev. I was given full custody after a few months of no one being able to contact Amber. It wasn't even until Nev was three when Amber contacted me again. She sent me divorce papers. Through the mail. I had happily signed them, and brought them to my lawyer. I didn't think it'd blow up into the huge thing it did at the time. I thought I could just finally get divorced from that bitch. But because it was contact from Nev's biological mother, the state took away my full custody. They turned it into semi-full custody, like that's a thing. It's basically like partial custody, but since they couldn't track Amber down, they just made her pay child support. He was still under my care 24/7. It was fine, until Amber stopped paying child support. I gave up trying to get her to pay it after a few months, and I just wanted to raise Nev as my kid. So, I did. I raised him for another three years. Everything was amazing. He is beautiful and so smart, and I love him to death. And then Amber showed up at my doorstep. She was covered in bruises, and everything that was lively about her seemed to be gone. She reeked of booze, and it was clear that the heroine was taking a toll on her. She was sobbing and on the ground, begging for me to let her see 'her son'. She didn't even know his name. Nev was at kindergarten then, so I let her into my house, and told her to tell me everything. She gave me a sob story about being forced into drugs and stuff by the guy who got her pregnant, who she was married to at this point. She told me he beat her. This I believed because of the state her face was in. It looked like someone strong really took out their anger on her. I didn't even feel a bit of pity. I refused to let her see Nev. So, she went to her lawyer. And because I only had semi-full custody, and Amber could be contacted, we had partial custody. Amber could have Nev for portions of time."

"Wait, wait, wait. If she was so messed up looking, and had drugs in her, then how was she eligible for custody?" Their food was finished by now, on both of their plates.

"My thought exactly. Well, turns out, she waited months to go to her lawyer. She didn't do drugs in that time, and she waited for her face to heal up. Strategic shit. So, I had no choice but to say fine to her when she came back and demanded to see Nev. I knew what she was like, but against my better judgment, I had to do what the court said. So, I had to start paying child support as well. About a year passed, and things were okay. Not horrible, but definitely not good. I only contacted Amber when I had to. But Nev adored Amber. She was apparently so good to him, and he was missing the motherly presence so he grew extremely attached to her. It was really hard. Then we started fighting. A LOT. We fought every time we saw each other. Always about custody. So, we took it to court."

"It took practically a year. You remember about a month ago? I told you I had to go to court and stuff? That was near the end of the case, and I was practically in the courtroom everyday."

"I remember that, yeah."  _That was about the time I found out Tyler reads fanfic too. And enjoys them._

"Right, so we were completely losing, because if there's one thing Amber is good at, it's image. She was perfect everyday in court. I was stressed, shaggy, emotional, all the things I shouldn't have been. But then, Nev landed himself in the hospital again. The poor little man has malnutrition, but a special case. I told you about the defective enzymes. That's caused by-wait for it- the mother doing all sorts of drugs during pregnancy."

"That bitch!" Evan said. That's crossing a line. he already disliked her for being so awful to his best friend, but to do that to one's unborn child, just no.

"Yeah, my reaction was along those lines. With more crying. So I thought this was proof enough, and went to my lawyer. We've done all kinds of blood and urine tests on Amber for drugs but she's an expert at hiding it. She gets blood transfusions and other urine to fool the tests. My lawyer told me this, but thank god for my lawyer, she's the best, because she used the medical records as grounds for a surprise drug test. And we got her. I won the case, and got Nev. I was ecstatic. But I found out yesterday that she'd stopped paying child support again. That's basically it. That's Nev, why I've been so busy recently, and my horrible ex-wife."

"Jesus Christ."

"I know."

"Are you at least happy now?"

Jonathan smiled. "Of course I am. I'm with Nev, who's super happy to be at PAX and to spend a day with  _the_ VanossGaming. And I'm happy I get to meet and do this with you guys. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here right now. It's certainly been hard, but I certainly came out better and much wiser about life."

Evan looked at Jonathan. It was incredible in it's own way that he's able to do YouTube and work at an office job, and take care of his son. Even before he took his break. Evan felt a huge wave of regret, which soon turned into anger. Why wasn't he there to help Del through all these rough times? 

"Why didn't you tell me? Or any of the guys? I would've helped you. I could've made it easier for you."

"I know." Jonathan smiled. "I'm grateful for that, but, I feel like it was partly my fault with Amber and Nev. I could've been a better husband. So, I needed to shoulder the situation on my own. But I did think about it."

Evan sighed sadly. "That is awful, I am so sorry you dealt with that. I had no idea..."

"Yeah." Jonathan said, and he fiddled with his glass.

There was silence for a while as they both arranged their thoughts. Jonathan watched Evan's reactions carefully. He didn't want Evan's pity and didn't want it to effect their relationship. All he could tell was that Evan looked a little angry, and very confused. So, he spoke up.

"Why are you so confused?"

Evan looked up to meet Jonathan's blue eyes and he turned red. "N-nothing. Just a personal thing. I never would've thought you'd have been married. Or that you had a son. It's not a common thing I rea-yeah. That's why I'm confused." Evan cut himself off before something slipped out.

Jonathan chuckled. "Yeah. I bet it was a whole different surprise then you were expecting."

"You think?" Evan scoffed.

Jonathan laughed, a true Delirious laugh, and it immediately broke the tension and gloom around them. They talked about PAX and Nev, and their houses. They talked about their setups for recording, and they talked about the old days of their friendship. They told stories and laughed until the waiter at the bakery told them they needed to close, so they had to leave. They both left red in the face from embarrassment, but by the time they split up to go to their separate hotels, they were red from laughing.

After saying goodbye, Evan was in the elevator grinning like an idiot.

_And this is why I love my best friend._


	11. The day before the last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The panel, Delirious, and the events that follow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, updates again. I was travelling this past week and a half so I haven't really had time to write, but I'm back now and here we are. I'm already working on the next chapter so hopefully that'll be up soon. Oh, and I'm very excited for PAX this weekend, anyone else?
> 
> As always, thank you very much for reading! All the support you guys have given me makes everything so nice. It always makes me feel so honored. 
> 
> Fun fact: The story should actually be ending pretty soon. Only a few more chapters to go! (Maybe)
> 
> Also, should I start doing like a q and a thing every update? Would that be a thing you guys want to do?
> 
> i dunno, just throwing out ideas. Anyways, I hope ye enjoy!

Evan had slept like a rock that night. No dreams, no waking up in the middle of the night. He was awoken by Luke pounding on his door, talking about how he was late. This caused Evan to be in a good mood. A really good mood. So good, in fact, that it was scaring the others, especially Tyler.

Luke watched almost the whole day, knowing exactly what was making Evan so happy and comfortable. And it sure as hell wasn't just because he slept well.  _Honestly...._ Luke thought.  _Could these two be any more obvious? I mean, Evan is practically drooling every time he's seen Del. And Del is just well-obvious. But, subtly? That doesn't make sense. Is it because I know him really well? But-_

"Luke!" 

Luke jerked himself out of his thoughts to be greeted by the beaming Evan. "What?"

"We got to go get ready for our panel." He looked oddly happy about this, considering he wasn't a huge fan of panels.

"Okay...."

"C'mon, hurry up."

"Okay, okay." Luke said, following Evan to the panel staging area.

Luke thought Evan was super happy, and he was. But he was also freaking the  _fuck_ out. He didn't know if Delirious was gonna be at the panel with Nev or not. It'd be AMAZING if he was, but he can't just ask Luke that. Plus, the fact that it was a panel in general made him nervous. He never liked speaking in front of that big of a crowd before. But if his best friend was out in the crowd, then he'd definitely feel more comfortable, right?

"Evan."

Now it was Evan's turn to be yanked out of his thoughts. He turned to see Luke pointing to a door behind them, with a completely done-with-life look on his face. "You walked past our door to the panel."

"oh."

Luke sighed. "Seriously, what would you two do without me?"

Evan raised his eyebrows. "Us two?"

"You and Jon, obviously." Luke walked into their prep room, leaving Evan behind, fairly confused.

"Heeeey guys!" Mini said, grinning up at the two from his seat on the couch.

Tyler looked up from his seat next to Mini and groaned. "You guys are almost late. We said we'd get lunch and head straight here and you guys are still late."

Luke grinned playfully. "Well, we were caught up in our thoughts."

Tyler and Mini both looked at Evan and snorted. 

"What?" Evan said, offended. 

"We all know why you're so happy today. And we all know why you are so in the clouds today."

Evan flushed red and stomped over to the fruit provided as refreshments. He sat on a couch and angrily munched on an apple. "Shuddup." He mumbled, mouth full.

"What is he, three?" Tyler said to Mini.

Mini chuckled. "That's probably why he gets along so well with Del's kid."

Tyler snorted and laughed at that. They all talked for a little bit until the a guy came over and told them it was time to do their panel.

The panel went smoothly, there were no issues. There were lots of laughs, lots of questions, and lots of memories made. Tyler fell off his chair backwards, making Mini laugh so hard Tyler got angry and kicked his chair out so he fell too. Lui almost choked doing his squeaker voice, and Evan managed to break his microphone by knocking it over. They left the panel feeling very satisfied. Evan was gaining more and more confidence as the day progressed.

"Evaaaaaannnnn!"

Evan whipped around to receive a blur of black hair full force in his chest. He knew who it was this time. "Hey, Nev."

The boy grinned up at him. "Hi." Evan looked up. If Nev was here, that means-

"Sup? We saw the panel. You guys did good!"

"Delirious is too." Evan said, finishing his thought aloud.

"Dad is what?" Nev said. He had heard Evan mumble the rest of his thought.

Jonathan walked towards Evan after hearing Nev talking to him.

"You badmouthing me Evan?" He slung his arm over Evan's shoulder.

"Of course not." Evan said.

"Evan's just being weird." Nev piped up.

"Sorry to break it to ya little man, but Evan's always weird. He has been since I met him. It's one of his best traits." Jonathan looked at Evan and grinned.

Evan flushed at the praise. He smiled back at Jonathan. "Thank you."

Jonathan picked Nev up to sit on his shoulders. He grinned again at Evan, before walking over to Luke to talk with him.

Evan followed up but was stopped by Tyler. "Evan, earlier I said I knew why you're in such a good mood. I'm curious, do _you_  know why?"

"What do you mean?"

Tyler sighed. "I can't believe you sometimes. Evan, you're not just happy because of the amount of sleep you got. It's more than that. Get it?"

Evan flushed. He knew, he just didn't want to admit it. Who does? "Y-yeah. I do. It's because Delirious is here. I know."

Tyler nodded then leaned down to Evan's height. "I'm going to give you a push forward here, okay?"

Evan nodded, curious.

"Think about why the fact that Del is here makes you so happy." He got even quieter. "And think about why you read  _that_ about him and yourself. Trust me, when you actually sit and think about it, it's eye opening."

Evan looked at his sneakers. "Yeah, I guess." 

Tyler straightened up to his full height and sighed contentedly. "Good. Maybe now some progress will be made."

Evan smirked, seeing a chance to tease the fuck out of Tyler. "Sooo, how do you know that it's eye opening?"

Tyler groaned. "You shit."

Evan laughed. "Well?"

Tyler glared at him, and gave in. "Put the pieces together you dumbass. You practically know already."

And to Tyler's surprise, Evan's grin grew to a ridiculous size and he inhaled sharply. "I KNEW IT! OH MY GOD!" He cackled with triumphant laughter. "I just wanted to confirm it. So, you and Craig. Mini and Wildcat. THE minicat."

"Shut the fuck up please." Tyler turned red and covered his face with his hand. All the others looked at the two, wondering why Evan had been yelling. Evan was still laughing when he waved them off. 

He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Wait, so have you two, well, ya know?"

"WHAT?" Tyler screeched in embarrassment. He turned around to go talk to the others, while Evan laughed so hard he was clutching his ribs. 

_Honestly, teasing Tyler is the funniest thing._

After laughing himself silly, and seeing Tyler's red neck, Evan could barely breathe. He was catching his breath on the ground. It was just too much. He was exhausted from the panel, and all the realizations. And from laughing so hard. He sat on the floor, relaxing, as the others talked and made dinner plans.

"You know, you promised my son a day with you. That has to be tomorrow." A voice said to him. Then there was the sound of shuffling and then the voice was next to him. "You can't bail out on him."

Evan looked at Delirious next to him. "I didn't forget. I was just busy. And you were talking to the others. There wasn't a good time to discuss it."

Jonathan smiled. "You don't have to be so serious, I get it. If you had bailed, I would've beaten the living daylights out of you, but we could've remained friends." He chuckled.

Evan snorted. "So, what are you planning for tomorrow?"

Jonathan thought about it for a second. "I have no idea. I didn't make the plans."

"How about I pick you two up tomorrow morning and then we wing it?" Evan turned to look at Jonathan. He looked tired. His hair was disheveled but looked attractive and natural. He had a bunch of his piercings in, and he seemed happy to be sitting down. He looked really, really good. 

"Sure." Jonathan said. "I'll text you the address and time I think we'll be about ready."

"Sounds good."

* * *

 Evan was walking to Jonathan's hotel feeling very overdressed. Compared to the rest of the weekend, he looked like a different person. He was wearing his nice pants, shoes, and a nice button up. Definitely overdressed.  _Shit._

He walked in silence, entrapped in his thoughts until he found himself already at Jonathan's hotel. He went on the elevator, getting more and more nervous by the second. He knows he shouldn't be nervous, it's not like this was a date. Just hanging out with Nev and Jonathan. It was then that he noticed his phone was ringing. He cursed it and turned it off as he walked out onto Jonathan's floor. Stupid people calling him. He reserved the day for Jon and Nev, not for other people. If that made him an asshole, oh well. He can accept that.

He arrived at the hotel door and knocked. He got more nervous each knock he made, but luckily for him, he didn't really have to wait long for the door to open.

"Evan!" A scared voice said, and suddenly Jonathan was squeezing Evan practically to death.

Evan flushed but didn't push him off. "J-Jonathan?! Wha-"

Jonathan shoved his face into Evan's shoulder. "I CALLED YOU OVER AND OVER! GOD DAMMIT, I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS! GOD DAMMIT. POOP. POOP. SHIT FUCK ASS TITS!" 

Evan got concerned now and pushed Jonathan off of him a little. "What happened?" It was clear things were wrong. Jonathan's hair was a mess, he was still in his pajamas, everything was off. But most of all, Jonathan was crying like it was the end of the world.

Jonathan sniffled. "Nev won't wake up. Evan, HE WON'T WAKE UP!" He burst into sobs of utter despair again. Evan surged forward, past Jonathan to Nev. He was on one of the beds, not moving. He was breathing and that was something. Evan tried everything he knew to get the kid up.

"Evan, I've been t-trying for over an hour, he IS NOT WAKING UP." Jonathan chocked out in between sobs. Evan got up from Nev, tears starting to swell in his eyes in sympathy and worry. He went over to Jonathan and hugged him again. Jonathan broke down sobbing and screaming into Evan's shoulder. 

"I JUST GOT HIM EVAN. HE'S MY SON, I JUST GOT HIM. WHY? EVEN NOW, AMBER IS STILL RUINING MY LIFE. SHE'S TAKING MY SON FROM ME, MY SON IS DYING, WHAT DID I DO?" All the screams were along these lines, adn aevery single word was heartbreaking. Evan started to silently cry along with Delirious, and they slowly sank to the floor, Evan shushing Jonathan and drawing smooth circles on his back. Jonathan was shaking underneath Evan's grip.

"Delirious."

More crying.

"Jon."

"JONATHAN."

"What?" Jonathan blubbered.

"Look at me." He pulled Jonathan's face near his so Jonathan couldn't break eye contact. "It is not the end of the world. Your son is NOT dying."

"B-But-"

"He is alive. His heart is pumping. He is breathing. He is swallowing. Now, I don't know why he's like this, but we will take him to a hospital and get it figured out. Listen. It is not the end of the world. Amber isn't here. I'm here."

Jonathan cried more at that. "No, Evan. That's part of the issue. She is here. She's in the city. She flew here yesterday."

_Okaaaay, maybe it is the end of the world._


	12. Not how this was supposed to go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama, developments, good times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely loved writing this chapter. It really improved my mood, and it was fun. And also, almost two thousand people have read this, holy shit. That's incredible! Thank you all so much! It's really amazing. Enjoy the chapter!

Evan looked at the cheesy paintings, holding a shaking, sobbing, Jonathan. He was waiting for the ambulance to arrive, but he needed to somehow help both Jon and Nev. He didn't know what to do.

"Del. You should get cleaned up. C'mon." Evan stood up and pulled Jonathan up ad took him to the bedroom. He picked a towel, ran water over it and started rubbing Jonathan's tears away with the cloth. "I'm gonna go check on Nev, okay? Get cleaned up, please."

Jonathan nodded and took the cloth. Evan sighed in relief, as Jonathan was actually being responsive. He walked over to the bed with Nev on it, cursing the ambulance for being so slow. He checked Nev's pulse again, for the sixteenth time since the first one. 

"You're still kicking, huh?" Evan chuckled. His pulse was still strong, and his pupils were responsive. Evan snorted at himself. Good thing he knew a thing or two about the human body from his one nurse friend. He lost touch with him years ago.  _Huh. Maybe I should call him or something._

Jonathan walked out of the bathroom, looking very sad and tired. His face was red, and his eyes were puffy. He walked over to where Evan was, and looked at Nev.

"He's doing pretty good from what I can tell, but honestly, I don't know that much." Evan smiled apologetically.

"Mm." Jonathan hummed an acknowledgement. He stared at Nev for a good minute or two before the door was finally being knocked on. "Fucking finally." He moved to go open the door, but Evan put his hand on Jon's shoulder and walked past him to open the door. 

Two paramedics stood there with a stretcher. "The kid?" One of them asked. 

"In here." Evan said, letting them into the room. They quickly went over to the bed and took Nev's vitals. Jonathan stood there, just waiting for them to finish. 

"His vitals seem okay. His blood pressure is a little low, and we'll take him to the ER." The one that said this picked him up and carried him onto the stretcher.

"Father, follow us. Family only on the ambulance. Protocol, sorry. The other can meet us there."

Jonathan looked at Evan, who waved him on immediately. "Go on. I'll call you when I get there."

Jonathan nodded, grabbed his room key and wallet, and chased after the paramedics.

Evan stood alone in Jonathan's hotel room.  _Not how I expected this day to go._ He sighed and walked out of the hotel to the road, calling an Uber on his phone.

"Where to?"

"The hospital please."

"Sure thing."

* * *

Jonathan's world was collapsing. He wasn't scared. No. He wasn't nervous. It was just too much?

He stared at Nev hooked up to all the machines in the middle of the ambulance. Hooked up to those machines. Again. He didn't deserve this. Nev was the best kid ever. No child deserves this. He continued to stare at Nev until the paramedic shook him out of his stupor. 

"Sir!" 

"Yes?" Jonathan said, perking up.

"Is there a mother or someone else we can call?"

And again, Jonathan's world froze.  _Do I say no because I don't want Amber here? Do I say yes, because she's his mom?_

"No. No one."

The paramedic looked him up and down for a second. "Okay."

They rode in silence to the ER. Once they got unloaded and doctors started Jonathan questions, he was, surprisingly, a little more calm than before. He answered them best he could and told them almost all the details of Nev's condition. He also gave them their pediatrician's phone number. He was sitting by Nev's bed in the ER starting to fill out all the paperwork on a clipboard. Nev was still unconscious, but every doctor or nurse assured him that it didn't seem like he was dying. All of his vitals were okay. They took blood and went to go get it tested. They did have him on an IV drip to keep him hydrated though. He had made it through about half of the paperwork when he was interrupted.

"Why are you wearing your pajamas?"

 _Rudely_ interrupted.

Jonathan glanced at Nev and went back to filling out the insurance information on the fifth page of his papers. 

"Jon."

Jonathan put his pen down and sighed. "Why are you here?"

Amber leaned on her back leg and crossed her arms. "And why would I not be? Why did you tell them not to call me? You know I was here in Boston. And why the HELL did you not call an ambulance right away? And again, why are you in the hospital in pajamas and no shoes?"

"Why are you in a cocktail dress and seven inch heels? And why aren't you with him? You know, Andrew? Oh, and I wouldn't have to call ambulances for my son if you weren't such a crack whore."

Amber swelled up. She stomped over to Jon and leaned really close. "Why you piece of-"

_=I'm so proud to be a part of this great big family. You're never gonna take this away from me, I'm in the Delirious army, delirious army.=_

Jonathan smirked. "Call me a piece of shit later. I have to take this phone call." He pushed Amber aside and grabbed his phone, which was by his wallet on the bed's little side table.

_Oh thank god._

"Hey Evan."

"Jesus, sorry." He heard a door shut. "Traffic was awful. The uber did his best though. Where are you, in the ER?"

"Yeah. We didn't need a trauma room or anything, so we're just in that open area where all the beds aren't separated. We're the third bed on the right from the doors."

"Okay. Don't hang up, I don't want to get lost. How's Nev?"

Amber cleared her throat angrily.

Jonathan heard doors opening and closing. It was obvious Evan was trying to get there as fast as he could. "He's good. Everyone is constantly reassuring  me his vitals are fine. Once I finish out the paperwork, they can start all their other tests besides blood. They think its probably a chemical reaction due to something, maybe the missing enzyme, that is sending an endorphin to his brain that is causing a kind of coma. But it's not a coma. It's really confusing, I'm not a doctor."

"Yeah I bet. Well, I'm glad tha-Oh, I see you."

Jonathan looked up to see Evan, still super dressed up and looking great standing by the first bed of the ER. He smiled at Evan. 

"Wait. Is that her? In the dress?"

Jonathan sighed and nodded, knowing Evan could see him. "Just get over here." He hung up.

Amber exhaled loudly. "Finally. Will you actually talk to me about my son now?"

"My son."

"Jonathan, I swear to god, he is my son. He doesn't have an OUNCE of you anywhere in him. He is my son."

"Excuse me." A voice interrupted. 

Amber turned to look at Evan. In her heels, she was taller than him, but Evan is much more well-built. She shrunk back a tiny bit, but stood her ground. "Who are you?"

"Hey, Evan. Sorry to ruin our plans." Jonathan grinned at him.

"I brought your shoes." Evan gave him his shoes and went over to Nev.

"Jonathan. Who is this? And why is he near my son?"

Jonathan was slipping his shoes on, but he stopped to glare at Amber. "A friend. He's really great, and he really cares for Nev. Who is  _my_ son."

Amber walked over to Nev and Evan. She smiled an award winning smile. "Hello. I'm Amber. Would you mind moving so I can see how my son is doing?"

Evan looked at her calmly, but didn't step aside. "To answer your earlier question, the name's Evan. I've been friends with Jonathan for ages. And I'm sorry, but I'd like to check on Nev now. So do me a little favor, and give me and Nev some space. Thanks."

Jonathan has rarely seen Evan look so scary and calm at the same time. Amber clicked her tongue and stepped back.

Jonathan sighed. "Thanks for coming Evan. This'll probably be an all day thing, and you're welcome to leave whenever. Amber come over here and help me fill out paperwork. Fill out all the biological mother stuff I haven't done already."

Amber went over to Jonathan and started filling all the papers out. Jonathan went over to Evan. 

"I won't leave, you know. I told him I'd give him a day.I'll keep that promise."

Jonathan smiled. Evan was too great with his kid. It made him feel like he wasn't the best father. But it felt nice. It made him smile. 

"You two look like a couple doting on your son. It's even funnier because on of you is basically wearing a suit and the other is wearing pajamas." Jonathan flushed at Amber's statement.

"Amber!"

"I'm right, and I know I am." She went back to the paperwork. Jonathan looked to Evan. 

"Sorry about her. She's just been like that for the past few years. It's not intentional, at least I think."

"It's fine." Evan was bright red and covering his face with one arm.

"Evan."

"What is it Delirious?"

"Are you,  _the_ VanossGaming, embarrassed because of little old me?"

"Shut up Del, please."

Jonathan busted out laughing. He has never seen Evan this red. He tugged on Evan's arm, trying to get it away from his face.

"Nev's parents?"

"Ah." Jonathan stilled where he was standing.

"Yes?" Amber jumped in.

The nurse looked at Jonathan, Evan, and Amber critically. He sighed and then started telling them what they thought it was that caused Nev to be like this. He had low white blood cell levels, and low vitamin levels. They said it was just the malnutrition condition of Nev's. It just disrupted too much of his chemical levels.

Jonathan sighed in relief at this. 

"Okay, I have to ask because we have to give him meds that'll help him, and he'll probably need to take them for the rest of his life, but it is obvious that you people's relationship is complicated. So, I have to ask. Who's the legal guardian? Or are you sharing custody?"

Amber opened her mouth, but Evan spoke over her. "This guy-" he pointed to Delirious, "is the legal guardian."

Amber whipped around to glare at Evan. He just smirked. The nurse went over to Jonathan. 

"Okay, sir. These medications will last about a month, but make sure you keep up to date with them. He needs to take them constantly, or he will be in a coma. We will prescribe some more next month. You got lucky this time. So, keep up with these. If you have any questions, call this number."

They went over the specifics of the pills, and Jonathan was about to leave when the nurse stopped him. 

"I'm gonna say something a little personal to you sir. Is that okay?"

Jonathan nodded, confused. 

"This was partly caused by stress. It releases a toxin that reacts with things Nev doesn't have. So it can be devastating. I don;t know what the relationship is between you three, but please figure it out, for the sake of your son. Make sure he isn't stressed."

A wave of guilt washed over Jonathan. "Thank you for telling me that. I will definitely take that to heart."

The nurse nodded. "Alright. Thank you. You guys can go now. Just make sure you get those medications."

"Okay. Thank you so much." The nurse nodded and went to take the IV out of Nev. He bandaged up where the syringe was. The nurse nodded at all three people and walked off.

Jonathan walked over to Nev and looked at him. "We should go." 

Amber stood up. "Can I see the meds?"

Jonathan stared at her for a second before handing them to her. 

She read them and looked them over for a second before sighing in relief. "These aren't addictive, thank god." She handed them back to Jonathan and smiled really softly.

It reminded Jonathan of when he loved her. 

"He won't be addicted. He won't ruin lives Jon." She smiled once more. "I'm gonna go now, okay. Just keep me updated, please? I won't bother you. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so awful." She walked out after that.

Jonathan watched her retreating figure, speechless.

Evan was speechless too. He looked at Jonathan, who turned to him, tears falling down his face. "Evan, she just-"

"I know."

Jonathan scrunched his face up before breaking into full on sobs. Amber knew what she did, and she wanted to make sure Nev wouldn't be like her. It reminded him so much of her before all the crap he pulled. He didn't realize how lonely he was until that glimpse of his past showed him. And it hurt so much. 

Evan pulled him into a hug.

"C'mon. Let's go back to the hotel. It's only ten in the morning. We have a whole day to work out these emotions, okay?"

Jonathan nodded and stepped back, tears still streaming down his face, but he was smiling.

Evan grabbed Nev, and carried him outside, with Jonathan by his side.


	13. The happenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit's goin' down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID THE THING AND I LOVE IT. WOO. So, i'm thinking like another two chapters maybe. Next one being the ending, and then an epilogue. or not, honestly I don't know. At most, I think if I drag it out, it'll be another three or four chapters. But I doubt that. So, yeah. Feel free to comment or ask questions, I do my best to reply and answer them. I also have a tumblr for this now, and my username is bbs-ship-trash, so I'll answer questions and stuff on there too. Thanks everyone for reading this, and as always: I hope ye enjoy!

_ WHY WAS THIS MAN SO CUTE???? _

Evan flushed bright red as he walked alongside Jonathan, holding Nev. They were almost back to the hotel, and Evan was at a breaking point. Jonathan still had his bedhead and he was still in his pajamas. And his surprised crying earlier was heartbreaking, but so  _ damn  _ cute. Evan cursed himself for thinking that. But at the same time he still just wanted to grab him and kiss him, hard.

Like there wasn’t a care in the world. Fucking Tyler, making him accept his feelings for Jonathan. I mean, he had his fantasies and fics, but that doesn’t mean he wanted that to actually become a reality?  _ Right? _

“Evan. Hey, Evan!”

_ Did I want that to become a reality? _

“DUDE!”

“H-huh, what?” Evan jumped, looked to his right, where Jonathan was. When he wasn’t there, Evan whipped around and found him standing a few feet back, waiting for him. 

“Genius, this is the hotel. And you happened to be walking away with my son.”

“Oh, right.” He jogged back to Jonathan, apologizing.

“You’re okay, don’t worry.” Jonathan sniffed. He was still all red and snuffly from crying. But he was smiling. He seemed almost euphoric. They walked inside, and went to the elevator. Once the doors opened, they got on, and that’s when Evan felt Nev shift around in his arms and opened his eyes.

“Del.”

Jonathan turned around from his spot looking at the closed elevator doors, and smiled warmly. He stroked Nev’s head. The meds that they gave him at the hospital earlier must have been having an effect.    
“Hey, little man. How are you feeling?”

Nev looked at Jonathan and mumbled softly. “Not good.”

Evan made eye contact with Jonathan and gave him a sympathetic look. He tried his best to telepathically comfort Jonathan.

Jon chuckled at how hard Evan was clearly trying. “I’m sorry, little man. You’ll feel better soon, I promise. And happy birthday.” He leant down and kissed Nev’s forehead. 

“Oh, that’s today. Right.” Nev mumbled softly.

Jonathan chuckled. “What eight year old forgets their own birthday?”

Nev grinned weakly. The elevator dinged that they were on their floor, and they started walking towards their room. 

Evan looked at Nev, whose eyes were closed again. It was clear that he was drowsy, and well, delirious. He was pretty out of it. 

Jonathan plugged his room key into the slot on the door handle, and he opened the door. Then he heard a squeak come from behind him, and he turned to see Nev with his arms around Evan’s neck and nuzzling into his shoulder. Evan was bright red and looked like he had no idea what to do.

Jonathan smiled. “C’mon. Let’s get him in here. Let him sleep.”   
Evan, still blushing, brought Nev in and tried to set him on his bed. Nev wouldn’t let go of Evan’s neck though. Evan looked at Jonathan with eyes pleading for help. Jonathan smirked. He had no idea what his son was up to, but whatever it was was making Evan blush so hard it was scary. And it greatly amused Jonathan. He leaned against the wall and shook his head at Evan, giving him a clear message:  _ Figure it out yourself. _

_ Jonathan, really??  _ Evan thought.

He sighed and tried to take Nev’s arms off, but they stuck like glue.

“Don’t go.” Nev mumbled.

Evan sighed. “Nev, I won’t go anywhere, but I can’t stay on the bed with yo-”

“Not again.” Nev cut Evan off.

Jonathan stood up straight and walked over to Evan and Nev. His face scrunched up in worry, and he knelt so he was eye-level with Nev’s head. He nodded at Evan to say something.

“I didn’t leave before, Nev. I won’t leave again.”   
“No, just don’t leave. You’ll make dad and me happy. Don’t go to my other dad…” He dozed off and started snoring. He released his arms from Evan’s neck.

Jonathan snorted. “Those meds must have drowsiness as a side effect. I think he thought you were his mom.” 

“Oh.” Evan didn’t know what to say.

Jonathan sighed. “That explains a lot. Poor kid. He cares so much for others. He doesn’t deserve all this.”

Evan knelt next to Jonathan. “What do you mean?”   
Jonathan put his head sideways against the mattress, crossing his legs instead of kneeling. He looked up at Evan, not bothering to pick up his head.

“The doctor told me this was partly caused by stress. He didn’t get too into all the medical stuff, probably to spare me and my small brain.” He snorted. Evan chuckled at that too. “He’s a really smart kid. Much smarter than any other eight year old I’ve ever met. I worry sometimes.”   
Evan sat back, leaning on the other bed, and he laid his legs out as far as they’d go. “Who wouldn’t? I’ve noticed it too, he’s a really perceptive kid.”

“He is.” Jonathan leaned back so he was next to Evan. “Thanks for earlier by the way. When you told the nurse I was the parent. Well, legally you know.”

“Well, you are. It doesn’t matter if Amber had a kind heart or not. You’re Nev’s dad, and no one can change that.”

Jonathan curled up and put his head on his knees. “Thank you.”

Before Evan could think about it, he started ruffling Jonathan’s hair. “You deserve it. You’re a great dad.”   
Jonathan raised his head, ears red. Evan let his hand fall off of Jonathan and he felt a twinge of jealousy. When he blushed, his entire body turned bright red, but turns out only Jon’s ears and neck turn red. There was a slight pink to his cheeks, but still.  _ It is cute though… _

“I try to be. It’s not easy. There’s no rulebook or guide. No easy instructions. I just try to make sure that he doesn’t make the same mistakes I did. I hope he never has to be lonely or depressed. That he doesn’t destroy lives and relationships unless he has a legitimate reason. I just want him to learn from my mistakes. Life is hard, and I know he will experience awful things, but as a parent, I try to make sure that it’s mostly amazing things. I don’t know what I’m doing.”   
“Well, that sounds like a good parenting plan to me. No parent has any idea what they’re doing. Everyone just wings it.” Evan leaned forward too. He went back to rubbing Jonathan’s hair. It was soft and fluffy. The bleach had taken its toll on his hair, but it still felt so fluffy and soft. He played with it and rubbed soothing circles into Jonathan’s scalp.

Jonathan eyed him with a confused look on his face, but gave up. The soothing feeling felt nice. Especially compared to all the stress from the day. 

Evan watched Jonathan’s hair move with the air. The urge to wrap his arms around Jonathan was so strong it practically hurt. Evan pulled his hand off of Jonathan’s head and he brought his knees to his chest too. Jonathan looked up at Evan in confusion, clearly wondering why he stopped. Evan sighed, looking at Nev and Jonathan. He didn’t think he swung that way for even a second. He had many, many past loving relationships that he really appreciated. He didn’t think he’d find himself in love (if that was even the right word for the feeling) with his best friend. One of his oldest best friends. Was it his fans’ influence? Or were the feelings already there? Is it bad that these feelings didn’t really bother Evan?

“Evan.”

“What?”

Jonathan looked at him. “What are you thinking about? You’ve been spacing out a lot today.”

“Well, a lot of things. A lot of things about what I care about.”

“And?”

Evan grinned.  _ Like he’s tell Jonathan.  _ “That’s it. I can’t tell you the rest.”

“Well that’s a bunch of bullshit if I’ve ever heard any.”

Evan snorted. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Well, it ain’t my bathroom so yeah, and you can’t run away from me!”

Evan smiled and stood up and walked to the bathroom.  _ Watch me. _

Jonathan watched Evan’s retreating figure and sighed.  _ What an odd dude.  _ Jonathan could still feel the practically crushing loneliness from his encounter with Amber. He’d never tell Evan that that’s why he was crying. But having Evan here to talk with was very comforting. So seeing Evan zoning out with a sad look on his face wasn’t nice. Jonathan liked to see Evan smiling and hear his breathy laugh. Jonathan looked down at where Evan was sitting. He was going to squeeze the reason why Evan was worried out of him no matter what.

Once he escaped his thoughts, Jonathan noticed something. Evan’s iphone was on the ground where he was sitting. It must’ve fallen out of Evan’s pocket when he got up. Jonathan tentatively reached towards it. He checked to make sure that Nev was still asleep and he listened for Evan. Yes, it was incredibly impolite to go through someone's phone, but Jonathan wanted to figure out why Evan was being weird today. Maybe it was a girl or something? Jonathan grabbed the phone and turned it over quickly.  _ Shit, locked. Well, duh.  _ He glanced to the bathroom. He estimated that he had another two minutes, to guess the passcode and find something actually useful.

_ What would Evan use as a passcode? A word probably...Oh. _

“4-H-6-O-6-O-8-t. Hoot. 4668.” Jonathan punched it in, and was greeted with Evan’s home screen.  _ NO WAY. WHAT A NERD! THAT’S TOO FUNNY!  _ He snorted as he swept through his phone. He estimated he had about another minute or thirty seconds. He quickly went through Evan’s recent calls. Most were to him and Tyler. No surprise there. He heard the sink water and quickly closed out of that.  _ I need something… _

He desperately opened safari in hope that Evan was googling something. He pulled up the history. Nothing notable. He clicked his tongue. He heard the water turn off in the bathroom. He frantically went to his private browsing to see if he left anything open. 

Evan dried his hands and walked back out of the bathroom.  _ There go my plans. I was gonna call Tyler for advice. Shit. Whatever. _

“Hey, Del, have you seen my phone? I was trying to find it, but it wasn’t in my pockets.”

He looked over at Jonathan and he froze. Jonathan had Evan’s phone with the screen pointed at Evan. He had an eyebrow raised and seemed very ticked off. He was still between the beds. Thousands of questions rushed into Evan’s brian all at once.  _ How did he get my phone? Why did he go through it? How’d he get IN it? What if he found something? No,I’m careful about all my secrets, it’s fine, there’s no way- _

“So Evan,” Jonathan pointed to the screen. “What are you reading? And why am I in it?”

Evan’s heart sunk. 

“Fuck.”


	14. Fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, more shit be goin down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking one more chapter after this. And that'll explain some things about whats up with Del in this story, and probably have an epilogue. Oh and some shmexy times. Definitely some sexy times. Yeah, so as always thanks for reading, all that. And thanks for reading all through the story, until the end. And from me specifically, thank you guys for all the encouragement, because otherwise I definitely wouldn't have finished this story. (Well, be finishing the story, but still)  
> As always, thanks so much for everything!

"Fuck, indeed, huh?" Jonathan pulled the phone back towards his face so he could read it. Evan lunged forward in an effort to grab his phone.

"Ah. Evan, don't disturb Nev." Jonathan harshly said, causing Evan to freeze. He slowly looked to Nev and then to Jonathan, begging for forgiveness. 

_Was it forgiveness? What am I begging for?_

Jonathan read part of the fic. "You know, I don't think I can read this aloud with Nev in the room, even if he's asleep. This is pretty kinky, you perv."

Evan flushed bright red and started stuttering in denial. "N-no, I didn-No I would not-"

"Oh come sit down you tomato. I'm not mad."

Evan felt a wave of relief wash over him. He relaxed a bunch. Jonathan smiled and gestured for Evan to sit next to him. Evan slowly walked over and sat down, with his knees up and his arms wrapped around them. Probably the most guarded position a person could sit in. 

"So, I have a simple question."

Evan put his head down in embarrassment. "Shoot."

"Is this what you were zoning out about?!" Jonathan said excitedly.

Evan shot his head up. "Excuse m-" He stopped. Jonathan's face was too close to his. Evan shot back and and blubbered noises.

Jonathan laughed. "Too sensitive to close proximity with me." 

"What?"

"So, this was definitely what you were zoning out about. Was it the feelings that this," He waved Evan's phone, "made you feel?"

"N-No, buh- I mean-that'd neve-maybe. Yes, yes." Evan managed to spit out.

"I din't know you swung that way. I mean, you dated Sydney for ages."

Evan sat there and tried to gather his thoughts so he could actually speak coherently. It was certainly a shock, but Jonathan seemed really calm about this. Maybe a little too teasing, but Evan was used to Jonathan's teasing. This was a little mean though. Toying with his emotions like this.

"Um, well. I didn't either. It just started with curiosity. And then I ended up really enjoying the stories..." He got quieter and quieter with each word.

"Which kinds of stories? All the ones where we boned in public, or the ones where I made you an amazing breakfast?" He leaned close to Evan again.

"Stop, please." Evan said. He was so embarrassed he felt tears welling up in his eyes, and his face felt so warm that it hurt.

"Why? Did you fall for me? My laugh, my voice, my looks, my son?" Jonathan leaned in even closer, speaking lower and lower with each word. But his voice cracked when he talked about Nev.

Evan felt the tears spill onto his cheeks. "Del, stop with the teasing. Please."

Jonathan leaned back. "Sorry, did I tease too much?"

"It's not nice to toy with someone's emotions like that. I mean, really Jon. It's something I've been struggling with for ages, and you just shat all over my feelings." Evan sniffed, tears running down his face.

"It wasn't all teasing." Jonathan went out of his way to stare at the lamp in between the beds while saying this.

"What?"

Jonathan sighed. He kind of dug his own grave here. When he had read the few lines of the story with him kissing Evan over breakfast, he was extremely confused to say the least, but he was not expecting Evan to like him. It was nice. He knew he was being an asshole, but he hasn't had anyone say they liked him in years. Besides Nev, but that's his son, he's obligated to say that. It felt nice to be wanted. And the more that Jonathan teased Evan, the brighter red he got. And then he started crying, Jonathan had never seen Evan cry, and this was crying out of embarrassment. It's a while different kind of crying. It was cute on Evan. It might make Jonathan fall for him. Jonathan didn't discriminate. He respects love as what it is, no matter who it's with. Is he desperate? Maybe. Was he okay with being loved and wanted? Yes.

"I'm saying it's okay." _Even if I don't love you back._  

Evan did a double take. "What?"

"What, what, is that all you can say today?" Jonathan leaned close to Evan again, bringing his hands to Evan's face. He turned Evan's head towards him, and leaned in close.

Evan was so hot it hurt. He couldn't move, and he really really wanted to kiss Jonathan. And here he was, really well dressed and nice, with Jonathan in his pajamas leaning in for a kiss. His blue eyes were closed and he looked so pretty. He leaned in.  _I mean, who am I to resist?_

Jonathan couldn't stop thinking of the irony of the moment. It's what the fans want, but it's almost always Jonathan falling so hard for Evan, and then dealing with the turmoil and emotions, it's funny that Jonathan was choosing to "love" Evan, who had fallen for  _him_ , of all people. Yet, it made Jonathan feel like actual shit. Was he doing the wrong thing? Yes. But he didn't care at this point. He went to close the distance between him and Evan eagerly.

"No." Evan pushed Jonathan away strongly.

It was Jonathan's turn to blush. "What?"

"I can't. I know you don't-I'm not as dense as everyone thinks, okay?"

"Meaning?"

Evan looked into Jonathan's eyes and steeled himself. "I know you don't like, or love, me back. I'm not stupid. I've been your best friend for years and years. I know why you were crying earlier. I know you're lonely. But that doesn't mean you get to play with my emotions like this." He stood up. Jonathan looked at Evan with puppy eyes, and Evan felt tears spill onto his cheeks again.

"I can't, I'm not going to take your pity kiss, or whatever you were going to give me. I can't be here. Call me when Nev gets up. I promised him a day, but I did not promise  _you_ a day." He grabbed his phone from Jonathan and walked out of the room. Every step he took away from Jonathan, the more angry and upset he got. By the time he hit the streets to make his way back to his hotel, he was falling apart. He had known the he was in love with Jonathan ever since Tyler made him realize it. He knew things weren't going to work. But he didn't expect things to play out like this. He was mostly angry at Jonathan. He was going to use Evan to make him feel better and that is so upsetting to him. Evan knew Jon didn't feel the same way and yet he almost let Jonathan whore himself out to him.  _He should respect himself more. He should respect me more, how could he not?_

Evan didn't try to stop the crying. It wasn't being rejected or anything, it was the fact that Jonathan disregarded his feelings and saw him as a fling. He had no respect for Evan's feelings or choices.  _He didn't stop the teasing, and he lied. To my face._ He felt the sobs trying to shake his body.  _He's my friend, how could he do that? Was I really that serious about this if I'm this upset?_

After a while of walking/crying down the sidewalks, he was back at his hotel. He wish he had something to cover his messy face. He walked through the lobby, too tired to give an actual fuck. It was an insane day, and an absolutely unbelievable weekend. He couldn't wait to get back to Canada and his everyday life. He might not join any sessions with Del, but it's not like it's the first time. The fans didn't think about it before, they won't worry about it again. He stood in front of his hotel door, exhausted. it was about evening now, and he was so done with everything. His friends wanted to get dinner together, but Evan had to miss. He needed time to relax and vent all of his emotions. He stuck his key into the lock, and walked in, shutting the door with his foot behind him. He threw his phone onto his bed. If Nev does wake up before it's too late in the night, Evan will do something with him. He keeps his word, even if he has to deal with Jon.

But not for now. He sighed, glaring at his phone before walking into the bathroom. He was disgusting. His face was red, swollen, and it was covered in snot and tears. It made him chuckle a bit. He ran his hands through his hair and watched it get messier and messier. He remembered how he dressed up for today in excitement and sighed. He unbuttoned his shirt and kicked off his shoes. Once he was out of the shirt and socks, and in sweatpants, he felt way better. He grabbed a handful of tissues from the bathroom and face planted into his bed. The phone hurt, but it felt really nice to stretch out. His feet hung off the bed and he grabbed the pillow in front of him. He dragged it underneath his face and quietly cried into it. It is indescribable how betrayed and disrespected he felt, but he should've seen this coming. He set himself up for failure. He wiped his face with tissues on and off. Eventually, he managed to fall asleep, surrounded by some tissues and curled up into a ball. Call him a baby, but no matter the age, things still hurt.

* * *

Evan woke with a start to incessant knocking on his door. He quickly wiped the drool off his chin, and gathered up the tissues and threw them away in the bathroom. He glanced at himself in the mirror. He splashed it with water real quick. Even after that, he still looked like a person who cried himself to sleep.  _Well, I tried._ He glanced to the window when he went to open the door, noting it was still dark outside.  _What time is it?_

The banging happened again.  _Jesus, I'm going to get a noise complaint._

He went over and opened the door. This day has really been awful and now someone was banging on his door at some early hour of the morning, which will probably get him a noise complaint, which will make the hotel charge him extra. And that's way too much for this day. "Will you _please_ stop banging on my door? I will get in trouble and I don't need thi-"

Suddenly lips were on his and hands were in his hair. It certainly shut him up, that's for sure. His eyes were wide open as he registered who was kissing him. He pushed the body off of him. "Jonathan?!"

Jon pushed him forward and shut the door. He went forward and kissed Evan again. He licked Evan's lips, asking for entrance. "MM!" Evan pushed Jon off of him again.

"What the FUCK Del?!"

Jonathan stared into Evan's eyes, both hands on Evan's face so he couldn't run away. "I am  _not_ disregarding your feelings. I am  _not_ whoring myself out because I'm lonely. Yes, I am lonely but it isn't like I'm that desperate. I think-I think that I like you too."

"WHAT?!" Evan was struggling to keep up. "This isn't any different than it was before!"

"It is! Before I thought it was okay even if I didn't love you, but then I made you cry, and like actually sob, and that was like taking a knife to my heart. And Nev said some things, and then it was so obvious I don't know how I didn't see it before. I shouldn't have done what I did earlier, I was being an asshole."

"Nev said some things? What kind of things?"

"Does it matter?" Jonathan leaned in for another kiss,

"YES!" Evan pushed against Jonathan's chest again. "This is too fast, I can't-what happened to you-where is Ne-just-Sit down Del." He grabbed Jonathan's hands on his head and moved them off. He led him to sit on the bed. Evan sat down next to him. 

"Will you please explain what is happening in your head without forcibly making out with me?" Evan managed to say.

Jonathan seemed to deflate a little bit as he noticed something. "Evan, how long were you crying?"

"Excuse me?"

"Dude, your face is a mess, and your trash can is full of tissues." Jonathan's face fell. "Did I make you cry for that many hours?"

"I don't know, what time is it?"

"Two in the morning. You left my hotel room at about six." Jonathan frowned. "Were you crying all this time?"

Evan frowned. "I don't know. I was crying until I fell asleep. I wasn't keeping track of time."

Jonathan put his head in his hands. "Oh my god, Evan I'm so sorry. I never want to make you cry that much."

"No, don't worry about it, it's fine."

"It isn't fine. I was an asshole and I-I'm sorry."

"Jonathan, please explain why you are forcing yourself on me in Seattle at two in the morning."

"There's only one thing to explain." Jonathan brought his hands up to Evan's face again. He rubbed smooth circles onto Evan's cheekbones with his thumbs.

"Oh?" Evan felt excitement trickle into his body at what Jonathan was going to say. It was clear that Jonathan was serious this time. Earlier, Jonathan had such a sad look on his face the whole time it was obvious he was forcing himself. That's how Evan had known earlier. But now, he looked dead serious, and fairly happy.

Jonathan leaned forward, but only so his forehead was on Evan's. "I like you too. Seriously. I'm not just desperate. I like you, and I think I have ever since I met you."

Evan flushed.  _I can't believe this is happening at two in the morning._ That was his first thought. His second, he decided to say aloud.

He brought his hands up to wrap around Jonathan's neck. "I like you too. But you already knew that." He closed the distance and kissed Jonathan. He can't say that sparks flew or that fireworks shot from the sky, as it was awkward, and wasn't either of their first kisses. They had to find an equal rhythm, and figure out how the other wanted to move. Their teeth hit each other a few times, and they kept moving their heads the wrong ways. The kiss ended with Jonathan pulling away, laughing and breathless.

"You suck at this Evan."

Evan laughed. It was awkward, but he loved it. "You gonna help me get better?"

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Who can deny that begging face?" He snorted. "It's like those baby owl photos you text me."

"Shut up." Evan said, leaning in for another kiss. 

"Mm, okay." Jonathan said against Evan's lips.


	15. Did this really happen?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end/sexy times/epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooooooooooweeee We're done! I really enjoyed writing this, and to everyone who has read this and enjoyed it, I say thank you! I hope you enjoyed my story. Definitely will continue writing and pick up another idea I have for these two. :) Oh, and bottom Del. But yes, we're done with this, but I already have a new idea, so I will get working on that, probably tomorrow.  
> Thank you everyone for reading this and commenting, it's nice to be able to talk with other people in this fandom! 
> 
> (Also, I honestly don't know how this chapter came out, even though I wrote it. Might not be good. I like the ending though.)
> 
> Thank you guys so much!!!!
> 
> I'll be happy to answer any questions in the comments here, or at my tumblr! (I know there are some plot holes.)

_"I can't, I'm not going to take your pity kiss, or whatever you were going to give me. I can't be here. Call me when Nev gets up. I promised him a day, but I did not promise you a day." Evan said, looking like he was about to cry and he stormed out._

_Jonathan felt the immediate crushing guilt sinking into his very soul.  He was frozen in place looking at the door. Yes, he was an asshole. The biggest, widest, motherfucking asshole. He groaned and cursed himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, why did I do that? How fucking dumb can I even be? This is an all time low..." Evan had been there for Jonathan for so long, he supported him and, well, he loved him. And Jon just went and fucked it all up._

_"Dad."  
_

_Jonathan jumped. "Nev! How are you feeling, you okay?"_

_"Dad, I'm fine. But I have a question."_

_"Anything little dude, anything."_

_"Why did Vanoss leave? I thought we were going to hang out today."_

_"Oh, you want me to get him over here? Here, I'll give him a call, he's still probably close." Jonathan stood up to go get his phone._

_Nev sighed. "Dad, no. I don't mean that. I mean, what did you do that upset him so much?"_

_Jonathan stopped and stared at Nev. The nurse's words came back to him. Nev astounds Jonathan sometimes. "Well, I did a really horrible thing to him, so he's upset."_

_"I know. I was awake." Nev sat up and looked at Jon. His eyes were wide and serious._

_"Well then you know what I did?"_

_"Not exactly. It just reminded me a lot of when you and mom were fighting." Nev said. His face was blank as he said it. "Dad, I think you like him. More than mommy."_

_Memories flooded Jonathan's mind. Of the fights with Amber, the fights were she threw away his feelings, because she was selfish. He remembered the pain he felt when she cheated, when she left. He hated himself for making Evan feel anything similar to that. Did Amber feel like this when she did what she did to Jon? Obviously not, otherwise she would've shown some remorse before today. Every fiber of Jonathan's being was yelling at him to go get Evan. To kiss him, to comfort him, to take care of him. "Nev, how do you know so much about me? You know things I don't even know myself."_

_"You're easy to understand. That's all. I know how excited you get when you play games with Vanoss. I know how much you two talk. You just need to do something."_

_Jonathan stared at Nev. He didn't say anything as he went to go get his phone. He dialed a number ad waited. "Hey Luke, how're you?"_

_"Whaddya want Jon?"  
_

_"Quick question. Then depending on your answer and mine, then a favor."_

_"Shoot. I got about five minutes to talk."_

_"Do you think I'm in love with Evan?"_

_"WHAT?"_

_Jonathan sighed. "Do you think I'm in love with Evan?"_

_"Sorry, that was NOT the question I was expecting. But, honestly, yes. I have for a while. What made you ask me though?"  
_

_"Nev pointed out that he thinks I like him."_

_"Smart kid. Is that all? I have to go..."  
_

_"Wait, I need to ask the favor!"_

_Luke sighed. "Yes?"_

_"When can I get you to watch Nev? Probably for the entire night, just in case."  
_

_There was a long pause. "Well, I'm supposed to go to dinner with the guys, and that'll last probably until nine or ten. Then I need to pack for the flight tomorrow. So, eleven, midnight-ish? I guess."_

_"Okay. See you then."_

_*****************************************_

_"You're late. Really late. It's 1:40."  
_

_"I'm sorry, the dinner ran late. You still have time. Our flight is at eleven." Luke smiled and leaned in close. "But I bet his is earlier. You better go."_

_Jonathan threw on his coat and rushed out of the room. "Thank you Luke!"_

_He ran down the streets, panting. He needed to get to Evan._

* * *

 

"And that's how we're in this position right now." Jonathan said in between the light pecks Evan was giving him.

"Mm-hmm." Evan hummed, kissing Jonathan's neck.

"Hey!" Jonathan pushed Evan up so he wouldn't have access to his neck. "Are you even listening?"

"Definitely." Evan leaned in for a kiss.

"STOP LISTENING WITH YOUR DICK FOR A SECOND! I am saying, I'm sorry. And I love you, I really do." Jonathan smiled up at Evan from his position underneath him. 

If Evan wasn't horny before, he was CERTAINLY horny now. "I love you too Del." He pushed himself closer to Jonathan and kissed his neck again, slowly moving his way up to Jon's mouth. 

"S-stop it. That tickles. If you're gonna kiss me, then kiss me dammit."

"I don't need a lot of convincing." Evan leaned in, smiling to meet a smiling Jonathan. They had gotten the whole kissing thing down by now, so they immediately had a good rhythm. Evan licked at Jonathan's lips demanding entrance. Jonathan obeyed, letting Evan explore his mouth. Jonathan pulled Evan closer and closer, unafraid. Evan pulled back and chuckled, breathless. "You seem to have a little issue down there."

"That's a big issue, thank you very much, and it's not like you're any better." Jonathan eyed Evan's hard-on.

"Fair enough, fair enough." Evan dived back into kissing Jonathan, much more urgently this time. Jonathan had rarely thought that he'd be pinned under a man; under Evan. He didn't mind all that much. The kisses certainly weren't chaste, they were passionate and were making Jonathan melt. Evan broke away again, panting.

_Holy fuck._ Jonathan looked so sexy underneath him. His vivid blue eyes were completely trained on him, a light blush danced across his cheeks, and his lips were all swollen and beautiful from all the kissing. He was panting too, and he just looked so  _perfect._

Evan wrapped his arms underneath Jonathan and squeezed him so hard the wind got knocked out of him. "Hey! Evan!"

Evan put his head on Jonathan's shoulder. "You are so beautiful and sexy, that I don't even know what to do with you."

Jonathan turned bright red at that. "You doof, how am I supposed to respond to that?"

"I love you."

Jonathan smiled softly and grabbed Evan's head to lift it so he could kiss him. "I know. I love you."

Evan smiled. "I know." He kissed Jonathan lightly. The light kisses soon turned into heavy ones. Evan's hands start to wander to explore Jonathan's body, making humming sounds against Jonathan's lips. Jonathan shivered at every touch, but was getting kind of annoyed. 

"Dude, just take off my shirt! I want you to touch  _me_."

Jonathan has never had his shirt pulled off so fast and forcefully. He ended up bouncing on the mattress because of it. Evan immediately started kissing his collarbones and licking down his torso, making Jonathan feel incredible. He grabbed at Evan's hair, thankful that he let it get a little longer. "Evan-"

Evan eyed him from his spot sucking on Jonathan's stomach. He moved on to Jonathan's nipple, making Jonathan flinch so violently he almost hit Evan. Evan took one in his mouth and started sucking on it, while working the other one with his other hand. Jonathan snorted. "Evan. I don't have sensitive nipples. I don't feel it from them, sorry. Although you are extremely sexy right now."

Evan pulled off of Jonathan's nipple. "All you need is time. I'll make them sensitive."

Jonathan turned red again. He covered his face with his hands. "How can you say those kinds of things?"

Evan smiled and removed Jonathan's hands. "Because it's you. I have no fear."

Jonathan just squeaked. Evan kissed him again, before leaving light kisses all over his face. He went back to exploring Jonathan's body with light, teasing touches, causing Jonathan to shiver. "You aren't sensitive when it comes to your nipples, but I know the places you'll be sensitive." Evan moved his hand to Jonathan's erection, making Jonathan gasp and writhe underneath him. Evan set a steady rubbing rhythm. Jonathan was gasping and moaning, making Evan lose his composure. He seated himself between Jonathan's legs, and went for an open mouthed kiss with Jonathan. It was messy but so hot. Jonathan could help but grind against Evan, desperate for the friction. Evan broke away and moaned, starting to move his hips against Jonathan's. "E-Evan, for the sake of all things holy, hurry the fuck up!"

"So, impatient. Strip."

"WHAT?"

Evan laughed. "I won't watch, I have to go grab some "supplies"."

Jonathan shivered.  _This sexy motherfucker. How is he so calm???_ Evan got up and walked to the bathroom. 

Jonathan stared at him as he walked away. So. Fucking. Sexy. He slowly listened to Evan's demand and stripped off his clothes. They were wet from sweat and well, other things. Once fully naked, Jonathan couldn't just lay there out in the open, so he wiggled under the sheets. He was still incredibly horny, but he was getting extremely impatient. He started to rub his dick absentmindedly, waiting for Evan. He let out little gasps of pleasure, but he knew to wait for Evan. 

"Jon, sorry, but I don't have any condoms or lube, so I need to go buy-" Evan's eyes widened. 

"Oh, my god. Del, are you trying to make me lose my composure?!" Evan just about came from just the  _sight_ of Jonathan naked under the bed sheets, panting, pleasuring himself, and staring at Evan lustfully. 

"Evan, I-"

Evan was having quite the moral dilemma. His body and heart were telling him to take Jon right here and now, but his brain was screaming that he needs to be safe and make sure Jonathan enjoys it. Evan's never had a male partner, but thanks to the fics, he knew what he had to do.  _God, that's embarrassing._ "Jonathan, I have to go get the stuff, or this won't be fun for either of us."

Jonathan groaned in frustration. "Fine, go."  _I'll just get off while he's gone._

"You aren't allowed to come until I get back!"

"WHAT?" Jonathan shouted. He was starting to feel the familiar warmth pooling in his gut. "No. Evan! EVAN! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS!" But Evan was already out the door.  _Fuck it._ Jonathan decided that if he did it carefully, Evan would never know. He continued rubbing his erection, feeling the warmth pool in his gut again. He thought of Evan, unashamed. Evan shirtless, Evan panting, Evan licking, Evan inside him, Evan's face. He grunted and moaned as he came into his hand, head full of Evan. He relaxed and and moaned. He was ridiculously frustrated though. He wanted to get on with it.

"Ahem."

_Oh shit._

"I thought I told you not to come." Evan stared at him, smiling. It was very unsettling.

"Uh, uh-well-I-um-"

Evan snorted. "It's okay Del. I just wanted you to be ready for more rounds then one."

Jonathan turned bright red. "Um-what?"

Evan smiled and whipped off his shirt. "I got the stuff. Turns out a friend nearby had supplies, that's why I came back in time to see you." He walked over to Jonathan slowly, losing more and more clothing as he got closer. "That was really hot, by the way." He got on the bed, under the covers, and kissed Jonathan, hard. There were no light laughs or kisses, just tongues battling for dominance. Jonathan felt himself grow hard again. Evan rolled on top of Jonathan and started licking long stripes down Jon's torso, making Jonathan whine. Evan felt his composure falling away. He sucked all over Jonathan's chest, leaving a network of hickeys. Then he moved on to Jonathan's hips, nibbling at them lightly. Jonathan was once again  _extremely_ excited. Again. 

"EVAN." Jonathan pulled Evan off of his hips. "Enough with the foreplay! I want you!"

Evan froze for a second, before turning bright red and nodding. He grabbed the lube and poured a large amount onto his hand. Better safe then sorry. He rubbed soothing circles into Jonathan's thigh with his other hand. He kicked the sheets off so he could see Jon, making the latter man blush. "Don't stare."

"But, you're beautiful. Are you ready?"

"Nope, but go for it."

Since it was Jonathan's first time, Evan knew the prep period was going to be long, and really rough for himself and his self control. Evan took his index finger and rubbed light circles around Jonathan's entrance. "Del, breathe. Relax."

"You're staring too much, it's making me nervous." Jonathan covered his face with his arm.

"Just relax. The sooner you relax, the sooner we'll be connected." 

"YOU MAKE ME SO EMBARRASSED EVAN OH MY GOD!"

"I'm putting a finger in." Evan slowly nudged his finger past the ring of muscle. He let Jonathan get a little adjusted before starting to stretch him out. "How does it feel?"

"Not good. It doesn't hurt, it just feels alien."

Evan smirked. "Just give me time, I'll make you feel good."

"STOP SAYING SUCH EMBARRASSING THINGS!"  _Jon gets embarrassed easily during sex, good to know._

Evan went back to focusing on the task at hand. "I'm putting a second one in." Jonathan nodded, and Evan added another finger. 

Evan started working Jonathan's insides again, but took his other hand and started rubbing Jon's dick, causing Jonathan to arch his back and gasp.

With two fingers inside Jonathan, Evan started looking for that bundle of nerves he knew would make Jonathan melt. He knew he hit it when Jonathan sat up violently, panting, red, and looking at Evan wide-eyed. "Do that again. Please, do that again."

Evan grinned. "Found it again." He thrust his fingers in and out, hitting that bundle of nerves repeatedly. Jonathan was definitely melting. He was letting out all kinds of moans, and he was arching his back, and thrusting his hips against Evan's hand. Evan took his hand off Jon's erection, and started rubbing circles against his leg again. "No coming again, until I'm in you. I want you to come because of  _me._ "

Jonathan blushed. "I've already come because of you." He said quietly.

Evan twitched.  _He's trying to kill me._ He added a third finger and worked him from the inside. He made sure to scrape against Jon's prostate so that Jon was feeling it. 

"Jonathan, can I start? Please, I really want-no- _need_ to."

Jonathan was panting heavily, so he just nodded. Evan flipped Jonathan over and brought his hips up. 

"WHA_WHAT'S WITH THIS POSITION?!"

Evan snorted. "It'll hurt you less. Believe me, I want to do it facing you, but I don't want to hurt you."  _I could've prepped him more. Shit, sorry Jon._

Evan pulled on the condom and aligned himself with Jonathan's entrance. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Jonathan was tense with anticipation. 

"Relax, Jon, or-"

"JUST DO IT ALREADY OH MY GOD!"

"Fuck it." Evan pushed past the ring of muscle and stilled once all the way in. Jonathan gasped and moaned. "Holy fuck, that's weird."

"Oh, thanks for the compliment." Evan said through his teeth. Jonathan was so hot and tight around him, he almost didn't let Jonathan adjust.

"Good kind of weird." Jonathan panted. "Okay, I'm ready. Move, Evan. Move, please."

Evan's control shattered and immediately started thrusting into Jonathan, making sure to hit his prostate. Jonathan silently screamed. "Evan, Evan, s-slow down-too intense-AH!"

Jonathan never felt anything so intense in his life. Of course it fucking hurt, but Evan was so warm inside him, and he felt so full. Every time Evan thrusted inside him, he moaned and spilled a string of profanity. "Evan, vanoss, Evan, I can't-oh my god, this feels so good-Evan-" he said in between loud, breathy moans.

Evan couldn't slow down or stop himself. He was going to be slow and gentle at first, but that plan obviously went to shit. Jonathan just felt so  _good,_ and sounded so sexy. "Jonathan, bring your head up so I can kiss you." He said. Jonathan obediently listened, and brought his head up to the side so Evan could kiss him. Evan was relentless with the thrusting, and Jonathan was so, so close. He knew this was going to be intense, probably the most intense orgasm he's ever had. He also knew sitting in a plane for hours tomorrow is going to  _suck_ because of this. 

"Jonathan-" Evan said, breaking from the kiss and moaning. Evan wrapped his hand around Jon's dick and started moving it up and down causing Jonathan to shiver. "E-Evan, no, if you do that, I'll come!"

"It's okay." Evan whispered in his ear. "Come." He nibbled on Jonathan's ear as he came with a silent cry.

Evan flinched at how tight Jonathan got, and followed Jonathan not long after. He pulled out and disposed of the condom before flopping next to Delirious who was face down on the pillow, body limp. He didn't even look at Evan. "Holy fucking god, I have never felt that good during sex." He said into the pillow, voice hoarse.

"Me neither." Evan, said, still panting.

A few minutes passed and Jonathan rolled over so he could face Evan. "What time is your flight?"

"5."

"What time is it now?"

Evan shrugged. "Check your phone."

"3:10."

Evan grinned. "There's time for more then. I want to have you as much as I want before I go back to Canada."

Jonathan grinned. "Sure, but quick question."

Evan rolled on top of Jonathan again, and started kissing his neck. "Shoot." He said in between kisses.

"How did I end up being the bottom?"

Evan laughed into Jon's neck, sending vibrations through Jon's body. "Did you object to it?"

"Fair enough."

"Hey." Evan looked into Jonathan's eyes. "I love you, and Nev. I love your life. And I can't wait to be a part of it more than I have."

"Same to you."

* * *

"Evan! Hey! Welcome to my humble abode!" Jonathan rushed outside to greet Evan. Evan took him into a hug and kissed him. It's been a couple years now, and Evan finally decided to move in with Jonathan. It took time to plan such a big change, but Evan was happy to do it.

"Vanoss!"

"Hey Nev. I haven't seen you in a few months, how are you?"

"School sucks!"

Evan laughed. "It does indeed."

He looked at the house, Nev and most of all, Jonathan. 

_Thank god I left that fic open that day._

 


End file.
